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	():other funny jokes (4827): I remember when I was a sophomore. . ....

Posted by Matt L. Giardina on 07-Aug-2005

I remember when I was a sophomore. . ....

I remember when I was a sophomore. . .
Best three years of my life.

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	():other funny jokes (4827): Life is a game, the object of which...

Posted by Raleigh Upshur on 07-Aug-2005

Life is a game, the object of which...

Life is a game, the object of which
is to discover the object of the game.

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	():other funny jokes (4827): A women recently called the police to report...

Posted by christine margolis on 07-Aug-2005

A women recently called the police to report...

A women recently called the police to report that her home was being invaded by elves. However a search of the premises by the Elf Squad revealed nothing amiss. When asked how the elves gained entrance, the woman replied, "They came in through that window."

"But that's a blank wall," the officer in charge remarked, "There's no window there."

"Not any more, there isn't," the women agreed, "They took it with them when they left."

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	():other funny jokes (4827): A seventh grade Biology teacher arranged a...

Posted by Matt Zeypher on 07-Aug-2005

A seventh grade Biology teacher arranged a...

A seventh grade Biology teacher arranged a demonstration for his class. He took two earth worms and in front of the class he did the following: He dropped the first worm into a beaker of water where it dropped to the bottom and wriggled about. He dropped the second worm into a beaker of Ethyl alchohol and it immediately shriveled up and died. He asked the class if anyone knew what this demonstration was intended to show them.

A boy in the second row immediately shot his arm up and, when called on said:
"You're showing us that if you drink alcohol, you won't have worms."

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	():other funny jokes (4827): One morning, Farmer Brodt woke up, looked...

Posted by marcie j. gomez on 07-Aug-2005

One morning, Farmer Brodt woke up, looked...

One morning, Farmer Brodt woke up, looked out his bedroom window and saw that his barn was on fire. He quick got on the phone and called the local fire department. When a fireman answered his call Farmer Brodt said, "This here is Farmer Brodt. My barn is on fire and I wondered if you could help."

The fireman said, "Yes sir, Mr. Brodt - how do we get there ?" and Farmer Brodt said, "Don't you have those little red fire trucks no more?"

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	():other funny jokes (4827): A highway patrolman pulls over this motorist...

Posted by Abby Proffer on 07-Aug-2005

A highway patrolman pulls over this motorist...

A highway patrolman pulls over this motorist who'd been weaving erratically in and out of all three freeway lanes for several miles. He approaches the motorist's window carefully, holds out a plastic tube and says, "Sir, I'll need you to blow into this breathalyzer."

"I'm sorry, officer, I can't do that", replies the guy, "I'm an asthmatic, and if I do that I could have a bad asthma attack."

"Yes, sir. Then I'm going to have to ask you to come down to the station with me to give us a blood sample."

"Uh, I can't do that either, officer. I suffer from a life-threatening form of hemophilia, and if my skin is punctured in any way, especially by a sharp needle, I could easily bleed to death."

"No problem, sir, then we'll just take a urine sample."

"I'm awful sorry, officer, I also have a diabetes, and if I pee this late at night, I'll get low blood sugar, possibly even go into cardiac arrest."

"Yes, sir. Then I'll need you to step out of your vehicle and walk a straight line for me right here and now."

"Uh... I can't do that either, officer."

"And why is that, Sir?"

"Why? Because I'm drunk, you moron!"

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