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():funny quotes (263): "I think a secure profession for young people... |
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| Posted by ~*Angel*~ on 07-Aug-2005 | "I think a secure profession for young people..."I think a secure profession for young people is history teacher, because
in the future, there will be so much more of it to teach."
- Bill Muse
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():funny quotes (263): The man who fears no truths has nothing to... |
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| Posted by Mallory A. Sharon on 07-Aug-2005 | The man who fears no truths has nothing to...The man who fears no truths has nothing to fear from lies.
- Thomas Jefferson
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():funny quotes (263): "The future will be better tomorrow."... |
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| Posted by hello people on 07-Aug-2005 | "The future will be better tomorrow."..."The future will be better tomorrow."
- J. Danforth Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President
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| Posted by Suck A. Dick on 13-Aug-2005 | Random thoughts for 20041. Jesse Jackson, Jim Baker and Jimmy Swaggert have written an impressive new book. It's called "Ministers Do More Than Lay People."
2. The difference between the Pope and your boss .... The Pope only expects you to kiss his ring.
3. It used to be only death and taxes were inevitable. Now, of course, there's shipping and handling, too.
4. A husband is someone who, after taking the trash out, gives the impression that he just cleaned the whole house.
5. Just remember ... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
6. A blonde said, "I was worried that my mechanic might try to rip me off. I was relieved when he told me all I needed was "turn signal fluid."
7. My neighbor was bitten by a stray rabid dog. I went to see how he was and found him writing frantically on a piece of paper. I told him rabies could be cured and he didn't have to worry about a Will. He said, "Will? What Will? I'm making a list of the people I want to bite!"
8. I signed up for an exercise class and was told to wear loose-fitting clothing. If I HAD any loose-fitting clothing, I wouldn't have signed up in the first place!
9. Don't argue with an idiot; people watching may not be able to tell the difference.
10. Wouldn't it be nice if whenever we messed up our life we could simply press "Ctrl - Alt - Delete" and start all over?
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():funny quotes (263): I would love to speak a foreign language,... |
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| Posted by Damian T. Morland on 07-Aug-2005 | I would love to speak a foreign language,...I would love to speak a foreign language, but I can't. So I grew
hair under my arms instead.
- Sue Kolinsky
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():funny quotes (263): Never say "Oops" in the operating room.... |
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| Posted by Marlene R. Ehlers on 07-Aug-2005 | Never say "Oops" in the operating room....Never say "Oops" in the operating room.
- Dr. Leo Troy
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