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| Posted by Alan R. Bolster on 09-Aug-2005 | I went out today andI went out today and bought everything I've been wanting, because now that the elections are over, I know that the politicians are going to take care of the middle class.
The best advice for teenagers is, leave home now while you still know everything.
I really feel sorry for Madonna's baby, having to grow without a last name.
Is it a law of nature that women have to sneeze as soon as they apply their mascara?
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| Posted by luke s. heald on 09-Aug-2005 | Do blind eskimoes heave seeing-eyeDo blind eskimoes heave seeing-eye sled dogs?
Do they have reserved parking for non-handicap people at the Special Olympics?
Why do they call it a TV set when you only get one?
How come wrong numbers are never busy?
Do radioactve cats have 18 half-lives?
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| Posted by Joe Bray on 09-Aug-2005 | It must be true thatIt must be true that men are from Mars. Look at how the place has deteriorated.
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
Married people don't live longer than single people. It just seems longer.
I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, "Where's the self-help section?" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose.
If all those psychics know the winning lottery numbers, why are they all still working?
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| Posted by Kellen C. Dunbar on 09-Aug-2005 | If the #2 pencil isIf the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
If work is so terrific, how come they have to pay you to do it?
If you're born again, do you have two bellybuttons?
If you ate pasta and antipasto, would you still be hungry?
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| Posted by leXa on 09-Aug-2005 | I couldn't repair my brakes,I couldn't repair my brakes, so I made the horn louder.
Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
How do you tell when you run out of invisible ink?
What happens if you get scared half-to-death twice?
If I worked as much as others, I would do as little as they.
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| Posted by William S. McDarmont on 09-Aug-2005 | How can there be self-helpHow can there be self-help "groups"?
How do you get off a non-stop flight?
How do you write zero in Roman numerals?
How many weeks are there in a light year?
If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?
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