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	():funny quotes (263): I would love to speak a foreign language,...

Posted by Damian T. Morland on 07-Aug-2005

I would love to speak a foreign language,...

I would love to speak a foreign language, but I can't. So I grew hair under my arms instead.

- Sue Kolinsky

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	():funny quotes (263): Never say "Oops" in the operating room....

Posted by Marlene R. Ehlers on 07-Aug-2005

Never say "Oops" in the operating room....

Never say "Oops" in the operating room.

- Dr. Leo Troy

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	():funny quotes (263): Not only is there no God, but try to get a...

Posted by demonslayer on 07-Aug-2005

Not only is there no God, but try to get a...

Not only is there no God, but try to get a plumber on weekends.

Woody Allen in Getting Even

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	():funny quotes (263): Your mother was a hamster, and your father...

Posted by daniel avila on 07-Aug-2005

Your mother was a hamster, and your father...

Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberries!

- Monty Python and the Holy Grail

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	():funny quotes (263): Affimrations from the outer limits

Posted by Appyhorse on 13-Aug-2005

Affimrations from the outer limits

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I cannot accept, and the wisdom to hide the bodies of those people I had to kill today because they really pissed me off!

Cats teach us that not everything in nature has a function.

Seize the day??¦then go back to bed!

Don??™t take life so seriously. It??™s not permanent.

It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

Money can??™t buy happiness. But is sure makes misery easier to live with.

Never put off till tomorrow what you can put on someone else??™s desk today.

Therapy is expensive. Poppin??™ bubble wrap is cheap. You choose!

Dogs come when you call. Cats have answering machines and never get back to you.

It takes 42 muscles to frown but only four to extend my middle finger and tell someone to bite me!

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	():funny quotes (263): The problem was his poetry, which was of the...

Posted by Ken c. Jupre on 07-Aug-2005

The problem was his poetry, which was of the...

The problem was his poetry, which was of the Naturalistic school and leaned heavily on the S alliteration: "Sad, sorrow-sunk survivors of a sadistic society, saturated with strong, stiff stench of stifling strife..."