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():funny thoughts (97): If corn oil comes from


Posted by Marlene R. Ehlers on 09-Aug-2005

If corn oil comes from

If corn oil comes from corn, where does baby oil come from?

If there is no God, who pops up the next Kleenex in the box?

When a cow laughs does milk come up its nose?

Why do they put braille on the number pads of drive-through bank machines?

How did a fool and his money GET together?
   

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():funny thoughts (97): The two biggest problems in


Posted by dan hoffman on 09-Aug-2005

The two biggest problems in

The two biggest problems in America are making ends meet and making meetings end.

Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.

I wished the buck stopped here, as I could use a few.

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

When you go into court you are putting yourself in the hands of 12 people that weren't smart enough to get out of jury duty.
   

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():funny thoughts (97): If at first you don't


Posted by XX2Gurly4UXX on 09-Aug-2005

If at first you don't

If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

The pen is mightier than the sword -- if the sword is very small and the pen is real sharp.

If you throw a cat out a car window, does it become kitty litter?

Call me insane one more time and I'll eat your other eye!

I didn't fight my way to the top of the food chain to be a vegetarian.
   

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():funny thoughts (97): Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like


Posted by Johnny F. Gleason on 09-Aug-2005

Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like

Why doesn't "onomatopoeia" sound like what it is?

Why do 'tug'boats push their barges?

Why do we sing 'Take me out to the ball game', when we are already there?

Why are they called 'stands' when they're made for sitting?
   

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():funny thoughts (97): I tried sniffing Coke once,


Posted by Prankster (Jake) on 09-Aug-2005
I tried sniffing Coke once,
I tried sniffing Coke once, but the ice cubes froze the end of my nose.

The early bird gets the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.

Why is the word big so little and the word little so big?

Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?

Does the Little Mermaid wear an algebra?
   

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():funny thoughts (97): Mothers feed their babies with


Posted by p.l. on 09-Aug-2005
Mothers feed their babies with
Mothers feed their babies with little tiny spoons and forks so what Chinese mothers use. Perhaps toothpicks?

People seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. What are they doing? Cramming for finals?

Old age is when you still have something on the ball but you are just too tired to bounce it.

Did Adam ever said to Eve, "Watch it! There are plenty more ribs where you came from!"

I drive far too fast to worry about cholesterol.
   

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