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():funny thoughts (97): If it's zero degrees outside


Posted by Tom Lynn on 09-Aug-2005

If it's zero degrees outside

If it's zero degrees outside today and it's supposed to be twice as cold tomorrow, how cold is it going to be?

Since Americans throw rice at weddings, do Asians throw hamburgers?

Why are they called apartments, when they're all stuck together?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to see it, do the other trees make fun of it?
   

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():funny thoughts (97): So what's the speed of


Posted by Ana N. Facchin on 09-Aug-2005

So what's the speed of

So what's the speed of dark?

Why don't they just make mouse-flavored cat food?

I just got skylights put in my place. The people who live above me are furious.

Why do they sterilize needles for lethal injections?

Do they have reserved parking for non-handicapped people at the Special Olympics?
   

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():funny thoughts (97): The severity of the itch


Posted by sorin s. dohanes on 09-Aug-2005

The severity of the itch

The severity of the itch is proportional to inability to the reach it.

Two wrongs are only the beginning.

The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.

A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.

A fool and his money are soon partying.
   

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():funny thoughts (97): Who is General failure and


Posted by duffmanitt on 09-Aug-2005

Who is General failure and

Who is General failure and why is he reading my disk ?

The light went out, but where to ?

Why do banks charge you a "non-sufficient funds fee" on money they already know you don't have?

Why is it you have a "pair" of pants and only one bra?

How come when I call Information they can't tell me where my keys are?
   

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():funny thoughts (97): Why do we send cargo


Posted by Jamie on 09-Aug-2005
Why do we send cargo
Why do we send cargo by ship, and shipments by car?

Why call it a building if it's already been built?

Why do kamikazee pilots wear helmets?

How do you know when it's time to tune your bagpipes?

Is it true that cannibals don't eat clowns because they taste funny?
   

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():funny thoughts (97): Monday is an awful way


Posted by Cujo on 09-Aug-2005
Monday is an awful way
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.

Support bacteria - they're the only culture some people have.

Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.

If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.

A conclusion is the place where you got tired of thinking.
   

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