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| Posted by Cristyn B. Militello on 09-Aug-2005 | IndifferentOne day, during English class, Miss Figpot asked her class, "Who can tell me the meaning of indifferent?"
The class fidgets a little, and they all look at one another. No one knows.
Finally, Little Johnny puts up his hand.
The teacher, hesitant to call on him because of his propensity for foul language and sexual innuendo, looks for another student to ask.
Finally, when no one else raises their hand, she says, "Yes, Johnny?"
"Miss Figpot, it means lovely."
Relieved, but a little puzzled, the teacher says, "Johnny, can you explain why you think indifferent means lovely?"
"Sure, teach. Last night when I was in bed, I heard Mommy say, 'That's lovely'. Then Daddy said, 'Yep, it's in different.'"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by calamjo
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| Posted by Tiffany Brown on 09-Aug-2005 | The bossKyle and Justin were about to eat with their baby sitter when 6-year-old Kyle said, "You can't sit in Daddy's seat!"
"Daddy's not home," the baby sitter replied. "Since I'm responsible for you while he's gone, I can sit here. Today I'm the boss."
Justin, the 4 year old, quickly piped up, "If you're the boss, you sit over there in Mommy's chair!"
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by Aaron D. Fredrick on 09-Aug-2005 | Cow getting itLittle Johnnie is sitting on the fence, watching a bull with two cows.
The preacher walks up, and asks Johnnie what he is doing.
Johnnie replies, "I'm watching that bull fuck the black cow."
The preacher, aghast at the language, tells Johnnie that he should say that the bull is going to 'SURPRISE' the black cow.
Johnnie says, "OK." and the preacher leaves.
The next day, after church, the preacher is shaking hands with all the parishioners as they leave.
When Johnnie appears with his parents, the preacher kneels down, smiles, and says, "So, Johnnie, did the bull 'SURPRISE' the black cow?"
Johnnie replies, "He sure did! He fucked the white one!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
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| Posted by Hysteria82 on 09-Aug-2005 | Passing gearA kid on a skateboard is being pulled down the sidewalk by his dog, which he's holding onto by the tail.
A woman stops him saying, "Sonny, couldn't you hold onto him some other way?"
"Yeah, I could," says the kid. "I could grab him by the balls, but I save that for passing gear!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by BreeBrown
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| Posted by Bri6285 on 09-Aug-2005 | Children's ProverbsA first grade teacher collected well known proverbs.
She gave each child in her class the first half of a proverb and asked them to come up with the remainder of the proverb.
Their insight may surprise you.
Better to be safe than...punch a 5th grader.
Never underestimate the power of...termites.
You can lead a horse to water but...how?
Don't bite the hand that...looks dirty.
No news is... impossible.
A miss is as good as a... Mr.
You can't teach an old dog new... math.
If you lie down with dogs, you'll... stink in the morning.
Love all, trust... me.
The pen is mightier than the... pigs.
An idle mind is... the best way to relax.
Where there's smoke there's... pollution.
A penny saved is... not much.
Don't put off till tomorrow what...you put on to go to bed.
Laugh and the whole world laughs with you, cry and... you have to blow your nose.
None are so blind as... Stevie Wonder.
Children should be seen and not... spanked or grounded.
If at first you don't succeed... get new batteries.
You get out of something what you... see pictured on the box.
When the blind leadeth the blind... get out of the way.
Submitted by Curtis
EDited by calamjo
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| Posted by Big Dadddy on 09-Aug-2005 | What is that?Little Bobby sat in the bathroom talking to his mother as she was taking a bath.
She got up to dry herself when Bobby noticed something.
With a puzzled look on his face he asked his mother, "Mommy what is that?"
She replied, "That is where Daddy hit me with an ax."
Then Bobby replied, "No shit! Right in the pussy?"
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Yisman
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