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():travel & vacation jokes (283): Iraq's car bombs


Posted by Chelsea on 09-Aug-2005

Iraq's car bombs

Support for the Iraq war is at an all-time low, and some Republicans blame the media and its '24/7 news coverage of car bombs,' which 'tends to leave a certain impression.'

You know, that's so true. You never hear about the cars that DON'T blow up.

-Jon Stewart


   

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():travel & vacation jokes (283): Chrysler


Posted by LiL gIRl on 09-Aug-2005

Chrysler

The Chrysler Building in New York City is 75 years old.

That makes it nearly as old as the average Chrysler customer.

-Jim Barach
   

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():travel & vacation jokes (283): Women drivers


Posted by meryl m. clewett on 09-Aug-2005

Women drivers

I tell you, women drivers are a hazard to traffic.

Driving to work this morning, on I-95, I look over to my left and there's this woman in a Mustang doing 65 miles per hour with her face up next to her rear view mirror putting on her eyeliner!

I look away for a couple seconds and when I look back she's halfway over in my lane.

It scared the shit out of me, I even dropped my electric shaver in my coffee.
   

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():travel & vacation jokes (283): Vietnam


Posted by Justin R. Timberlake on 09-Aug-2005

Vietnam

The prime minister of Vietnam met with President Bush at the White House.

As you know, Vietnam is a communist country so there is no democracy, there is no freedom, but don't worry, there is no oil either so we won't be going back.

-Jay Leno


   

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():travel & vacation jokes (283): Fat-ass Johnson


Posted by Brandon C. Mclean on 09-Aug-2005
Fat-ass Johnson
Buddy Hackett was recently reliving his days as soldier assigned to a motor pool unit. One day he answered the phone.

"Soldier, can you tell me what equipment is available for use immediately?" the voice commanded.

"Well, sir, we have two tanks, a half-dozen half-tracks, two armoured personnel carriers, couple of motorcycles, and Fat-Ass Johnson's command Jeep, sir."

"Soldier? Do you know who you are speaking to?"

"No, sir."

"This is Major Johnson, your commander!"

"Uh, sir? Do you know who you are speaking to?"

"No, I do not!"

"That's good. Goodbye, Fat-Ass!"
   

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():travel & vacation jokes (283): Sex for Dummies


Posted by Mark J. Houlihan on 09-Aug-2005
Sex for Dummies
At a bookstore the other day, I saw a book entitled "Sex for Dummies".

Why would someone want to teach dumb people how to reproduce? Aren't there enough of them on the roads now?


   

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