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| Posted by Stoney R. Sims on 09-Aug-2005 | Jonny and PriestJohnny is walking along and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?" The priest says, "Because I'm a father."
Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids and he don't wear his collar backwards."
The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."
Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."
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| Posted by Christer J. Kauppinen on 09-Aug-2005 | Present for teacherLittle Johnny brought a box wrapped with a red ribbon, to school, as a present for his teacher. He handed it to her. She started to guess what was inside. "Chocolates?" she asked.
"Nope."
"A Cake?" Johnny shook his head No. Then the teacher noticed some liquid dripping from the corner of the box. She caught a few drops on her finger, put the finger in her mouth, then said, "Ah, I know-dill pickles."
"No," Johnny said, "it's a puppy."
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| Posted by Laurie Hiestand on 09-Aug-2005 | Annoying Boy on BusA little kid walks into a city bus and sits right behind the driver and starts yelling, ''If my dad was a bull and my mom a cow I'd be a little bull.''
The driver starts getting mad at the noisy kid, who continues with, ''If my dad was an elephant and my mom a girl elephant I would be a little elephant.''
The kid goes on with several animals until the bus driver gets angry and yells at the kid, ''What if your dad was gay and your mom was a prostitute?!''
The kid smiles and says, ''I would be a bus driver!''
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| Posted by Slider1489 on 09-Aug-2005 | When You Grow Up"What do you want to be when you grow up little Johnny?"
"A doctor?"
"And why is that?"
"Because it's the only profession where you can tell women to take off their clothes and then stick their husbands with the bill."
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| Posted by chrissy on 09-Aug-2005 | DefinatelyNursery school teacher says to her class, "Who can use the word 'Definitely' in a sentence?"
First a little girl says, "The sky is definitely blue."
The teacher says, "Sorry, Amy, but the sky can be grey, or orange..."
Second little boy says..."Trees are definitely green"
The teacher replies, "Sorry, but in the autumn, the trees are brown."
Little Johnny from the back of the class stands up and asks:
"Does a fart have lumps?"
The teacher looks horrified and says..."
Johnny! Of course not!!!"
"OK...then I DEFINITELY shit my pants..."
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| Posted by Yanie on 09-Aug-2005 | BedpanA young man visited his sister who was married to a farmer in a poor district of the country.
Since there were limited accommodations, he was required to sleep with his young nephew.
When the young man came into the bedroom, he saw the little boy kneeling at the side of the bed with his head bowed. Thinking this was the child's religious upbringing, he decided to present a good example and kneeled at the other side of the bed with his head bowed.
The child looked up and said, "Whatcha doin'?"
"Why, the same thing you're doing", replied the uncle.
"Ma's gonna be mad", said the boy.
"The bedpan??™s on this side".
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