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| Posted by Justin Andre on 09-Aug-2005 | Jonny get the goodsLittle Johnny was walking down the road one day and an old man was sitting on his front porch rocking back and forth in his rocking chair.
The old man said, 'Whatcha got there, son?'
Johnny said, 'Got me some chicken wire.'
'Whatcha gonna do with that chicken wire, son?' asked the old man.
'Gonna catch me some chickens,' said Johnny.
'You can't catch chickens with chicken wire,' said the oldster.
Johnny just shrugged his shoulders and walked on down the street. About half an hour later, Johnny came back passing the old man's front porch with three chickens entangled in the chicken wire.
The old man was shocked and couldn't believe his eyes.
A little later Johnny passed the old man's porch.
'Whatcha got now, son?'
'Got me some duct tape.'
'And whatcha gonna do with that duct tape?' the old man asked.
'Gonna catch me some ducks.'
'You can't catch ducks with duct tape,' said the old man.
Johnny just shrugged his shoulders and kept on walking.
About half an hour later, back comes Johnny with three ducks tangled in the duct tape.
Again, the old man rubbed his eyes in disbelief.
Half an hour later, Johnny was again passing the old man's porch.
'Whatcha got now, son?' asked the old codger.
'Got me some pussy willow.'
The old man said, 'Wait right there while I get my shoes!'
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| Posted by RoCkEr BaBe on 09-Aug-2005 | $1000 instant lottoLittle Johnny and his dad went shopping at the grocery store. Walking down an aisle, Johnny asked his dad if he could have a box of Lucky Charms.
His dad said," Well, Johnny, can you touch your asshole with your dick?"
Johnny said, "No!!"
Johnny's dad said, "Well, there's your answer."
Later, Johnny asked if he could have Spagettios.
His dad, again, said, "Can you touch your asshole with your dick?"
Johnny said,"No!!"
His dad said, "Well, there's your answer."
At the end of the shopping trip, Johnny's dad felt bad about how he had talked to Johnny, so he bought him an instant lottery ticket.
Johnny scratched the ticket and found that he won $1,000!!!
His dad said,"Hey, Johnny, you gonna share the money with your old man?"
Johnny asked,"Dad, can you touch your asshole with your dick?"
Johnny's dad said,"As a matter of fact, I can!"
Johnny said,"GOOD, GO FUCK YOURSELF!!"
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| Posted by Fildog 007 on 09-Aug-2005 | Cow on heatLittle Jonny did not go to school one day. The next day when the teacher asked him why, he said "Our cow was on heat, so I had to take her to the Bull".
"How disgusting" said the teacher "I am sure your father could have done that"
"No ma'm, he couldn't have" said the little sod "It has to be the Bull".
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| Posted by Loverble Cats on 09-Aug-2005 | Stork brings babiesLittle Johnny: Mom, what kind of bird brings white babies?
Mother: Why, a stork, little Johnny.
Little Johnny: Mom, what kind of bird brings black babies? Mother: A raven, dear.
Little Johnny: Then what kind of bird brings no babies at all?
Mother: A swallow!
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| Posted by Tim Alive on 09-Aug-2005 | Sex edcuationAs sex education is being taught at a younger age these days little Johnny is in class one day when the teacher begins the days sex lesson. "Todays letter is the letter "p" and the word is "penis".
Little Johnny can hardly contain himself and blurts out, "I know what that is"! "I know! I know!!" " My daddy has two of them! "
"He has a little one he goes pee with...and a great big one he brushes the baby sitters teeth with!"
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| Posted by Allison L. Benaderet on 09-Aug-2005 | Jonnys new radioTwo twins, Donny and Johnny, are asked by their parents what they each would like for their 10th birthday.
"I'd like a new bike" says Donny. "Then I could ride around and see everything that happens in the neighborhood".
"And I'd like a radio for my room" says Johnny. "Then I would hear all the news that goes on in town".
So their parents buy them the gifts. Later on that day, Donny is out on his bike when he comes upon a serious car crash. There are bodies and emergency vehicles all over.
"I gotta go tell Mom" says Donny, so he races back to the house and shouts "Mom! There's been a terrible accident!"
"Yeah, yeah" says his brother, "We heard all about it on my new radio."
Donny is disappointed he could not be first with the news, so he leaves on his bike. A little while later, he comes upon a burning orphanage.
"Wow! I gotta go tell Mom."
So he races home again and yells for his Mom, but again Johnny interupts and says "We heard it all on my new radio."
Once again Donny leaves disappointed. He rides and rides until he is out in the country. He sees a big, fat pig all alone in a field, and decides since he appears to be alone, to fuck the pig. He has his first orgasm and is so excited he thinks "I gotta go tell Mom!"
He races home and yells "Mom, Mom! I lost my virginity!"
His brother says with a sneer, "In a pig's ass you did!"
And Donny says "That FUCKIN' radio!!!"
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