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| Posted by William S. McDarmont on 12-Aug-2005 | Jonny GodeeperA teacher asked a boy named Jonny Godeeper to take out his math book,so he asked her to take off her shirt,she said OK.Then she asked him to take out his reading book,so he asked her to take off her pants,she said OK.Then she him to take out his science book,so he asked her to take off her bra,she said OK.Then she asked him to take out his art book,so he asked her to take off her underwere,she said OK.Then she asked him to take out his homework book,so he asked her if he could have sex with her,she said OK.Then the principal walked in and said\"JONNY GODEEPER!\"
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| Posted by Carla J. Hicks on 09-Aug-2005 | Ways to confuse a roommateThese are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
10. Move you roommate's personal effects around. Start subtlely. Gradually work up to big things, and eventually glue everything s/he owns to the ceiling.
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():school humor (1428): Fun things to do on the first day of class |
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| Posted by Eissirk on 09-Aug-2005 | Fun things to do on the first day of classThis is for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you do any of these things on the first day of class or for that matter, on any day of class.
31. Watch the professor through binoculars.
32. Start a "wave" in a large lecture hall.
33. Ask to introduce your "invisible friend" in the empty seat beside you, and ask for one extra copy of each handout.
34. When the professor turns on his laser pointer, scream "AAAGH! MY EYES!"
35. Correct the professor at least ten times on the pronunciation of your name, even it's Smith. Claim that the i is silent.
36. Sit in the front row reading the professor's graduate thesis and snickering.
37. As soon as the first bell rings, volunteer to put a problem on the board. Ignore the professor's reply and proceed to do so anyway.
38. Claim that you wrote the class text book.
39. Claim to be the teaching assistant. If the real one objects, jump up and scream "IMPOSTER!"
40. Spend the lecture blowing kisses to other students.
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():school humor (1428): Fun things for professors to do on the first day of class |
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| Posted by kittilov on 09-Aug-2005 | Fun things for professors to do on the first day of class41. Devote your math lecture to free verse about your favorite numbers and ask students to "sit back and groove".
42. Announce that last year's students have almost finished their class projects.
43. Inform your English class that they need to know Fortran and code all their essays. Deliver a lecture on output format statements.
44. Wear a feather boa and ask students to call you "Snuggles".
45. Tell your math students that they must do all their work in a base 11 number system. Use a complicated symbol you've named after yourself in place of the number 10 and threaten to fail students who don't use it.
46. Address students as "worm".
47. Stop in mid-lecture, frown for a moment, and then ask the class whether your butt looks fat.
48. Claim to be a chicken. Squat, cluck, and produce eggs at irregular intervals.
49. Give an opening monologue. Take two minute "commercial breaks" every ten minutes.
50. Of course, the most fun thing to do on the first day of class is to enjoy yourself, sleep in, and let the students wonder if they found the right room!
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| Posted by leah on 11-Aug-2005 | Don't Know ShitTwo strangers are sitting in an adjacent seats in airplane.
One guy says to the other, "Let's talk. I hear that the flight will go
faster if you strike up a conversation with your fellow passenger."
The other guy, who had just opened a good book, closes it slowly, takes off
his glasses and asks, "What would you like to discuss?"
The first guy says, "Oh, I don't know; how about Nuclear Power?"
The other guy says, "OK, that could make for some pretty interesting
conversation. But let me ask you a question first:
A horse, a cow, and a deer all eat the same stuff, but the deer excretes
pellets; the cow, big patties; and the horse, clumps of dried grass. Why is
that?"
The first guy says, "I don't know."
The other guy says, "Oh? Well then, do you really think you're qualified
to discuss Nuclear Power when you don't know shit?"
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