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| Posted by virtual v. virtual on 13-Aug-2005 | Jungle AdventureA gorilla is walking through the jungle. He parts the bushes by the watering hole and sees a lion taking a drink of water with his butt sticking up in the air. The gorilla thinks to himself that it would be really funny if he snuck up behind this "King of the Jungle" and slipped him the old sausage. So the gorilla sneaks up on his tiptoes behind the lion, grabs him by the hips and starts pumping him in the butt as hard as he can. Then, he pulls out and runs away, laughing his head off. He thinks it is the funniest thing he's ever done in his life, screwing the "King of the Jungle" in the rear end.
The lion is shocked and upset, lets out a mighty ROAR and chases the gorilla through the jungle. Now, the gorilla can't run very fast and the lion keeps getting closer and closer, so the gorilla ducks into a campsite, puts on some safari clothes and pith helmet, picks up a newspaper, sits down and holds it up to his face, and makes like he is reading it. Just then, the lion comes busting through the jungle.
"RRRRRROOOOOOOOAAAAARRRRRR!!!!!!" he says. "Did you just see a big gorilla run through here?"
The gorilla starts shaking behind the paper. "Uh, you mean the one that just s-s-s-screwed you in the ass?" he stutters.
The lion sits up with a start and says, "Jesus! It's in the paper already?"
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3 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Lazerwolf91 on 10-Aug-2005 | Beer Nuts vs. Deer NutsHow can you tell the difference between Beer Nuts and Deer Nuts?
The Beer Nuts are about a dollar fifty and the Deer Nuts are under a Buck
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():animal jokes (1719): Q: Why don't they play poker in the jungle? |
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| Posted by fuzzy slippers on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: Why don't they play poker in the jungle?A: Too many cheetahs.
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| Posted by Thai on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: What has four legs and an arm?A: A happy pit bull.
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():animal jokes (1719): Q: Where do dogs go when they lose their tails? |
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| Posted by Ana N. Facchin on 09-Aug-2005 | Q: Where do dogs go when they lose their tails?A: To the retail store.
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| Posted by Dan K on 14-Aug-2005 | Dog BathLittle Johnny walked into a grocery store and selected a large
box of laundry detergent and took it to the counter. The clerk
said, "You must have a large load of clothes to wash." "Oh no,"
said Johnny, "I'm going to give my dog a bath." "I don't think
that is the right soap to use to bathe your dog," said the
clerk. "It'll do," said Johnny, as he paid the clerk and walked
out.
A few days later Johnny goes back to the store to buy some
candy. "How's your dog?" the clerk asked. "He died", said
Johnny. "I told you that soap wasn't right for your dog,"
replied the clerk. "The soap was fine," said Johnny, "but I
think the spin cycle killed him."
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