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| Posted by ben kiesel on 09-Aug-2005 | Just A JuggaloA man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guys' car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.
"Sir," the cop says.
"Why do you have all those knives?"
"They're for my juggling act," the man says.
"I don't believe you," says the cop.
"Prove it."
So the man gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives. At the same time, a car with two guys in it drives by.
"Man," says the first guy.
"I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard."
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| Posted by Ulic Qel-Droma on 09-Aug-2005 | Libraries Are SexyYou got any overdue library books? 'Cause you got fine written all over you!
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| Posted by debbie a. pinno on 09-Aug-2005 | Nagging Wife vs. DruA drunk is driving through the city and his car is weaving violently all over the road. A cop pulls him over and asks, ???Where have you been???? ???I've been to the pub,??? slurs the drunk. ???Well,??? says the cop, ???it looks like you've had quite a few.??? ???I did alright,??? the drunk says with a smile. ???Did you know,??? says the cop, standing straight and folding his arms, ???that a few intersections back, your wife fell out of your car???? ???Oh, thank heavens,??? sighs the drunk. ???For a minute there, I thought I'd gone deaf.???
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| Posted by Castro C. Ntsebeza on 09-Aug-2005 | Pulled OverA cop pulls over a car that's been swerving across the lanes of a road.
"Get out of the car, please."
"But I'm not drunk, officer!" "Listen, it doesn't matter if you're drunk or not. If you don't get out of this car, I'll arrest you anyway."
"Fine," says the man and gets out of the car.
"Okay, now walk this yellow line."
The man looks at the line.
"Which one of them do I walk on?"
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| Posted by Johan B. Kool on 09-Aug-2005 | The Golden ToiletA group of guys are on their way to a party, but couldn't quite remember the address to the house. ''I'm sure this is the one," said the driver. ''Well, I have got to go to the bathroom SO BAD.'' Replied one of the others, ''I'll go knock on the door, and check. If it's the wrong house, at least I'll get to a toilet!''
So he gets out and walks to the front door. He rings it once....No answer. He rings it again.....Still no answer. So, he thinks, ''This is a big house, big party, maybe the party is outside, in the backyard.'' So he walks around the house to the back, there was no one out there either. As he aproached the back door, he was suprized to find it unlocked, and opened. There was obviously no one home, so he figured he'd just quietly run inside real quick, and use there bathroom, no one would know. So, he goes inside but he can't find the bathroom anywhere. So, he quickly ran up the stairs and searched, and searched, till finally as he opened a door to a small room, he was amazed to find a GOLDEN TOILET. He had never seen anything like it, but remembering that he was in a stranger's house, and that they could at anytime return home, he quickly did his business and walked out. As he got in the car he excitedly told his friends of the AMAZING GOLDEN TOILET. They laughed in disbelief at his crazy tale. They pulled out of the driveway, arguing about it. They argued the whole way to the party.
A couple of hours later, on the way home from the party. They drive past the house with the GOLDEN TOILET. And they guy insists on stopping so he could prove to his friends the these people really did have a GOLDEN TOILET. So, they agree to check it out. So they all walk up to the front door and ring the door bell. And a woman answers the door. ''Excuse me maam, but could you please let me show my friends here your GOLDEN TOILET, they don't believe me!'' ''So YOU'RE the guy!'' The woman replies, then yells to her husband in the house, ''HONEY!?!...HERES THE GUY THAT POOPED IN YOUR TUBA!'''
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| Posted by Meggi-Poo on 09-Aug-2005 | Women DriverA woman and a man are involved in a car accident.
Both of their cars are totally demolished but amazingly neither of them are hurt.
After they crawl out of their cars, the woman says, "So you're a man, that's interesting. I'm a woman. Wow, just look at our cars! There's nothing left, but fortunately we are unhurt. This must be a sign from God that we should meet and be friends and live together in peace for the rest of our days."
Flattered, the man replied, "Oh yes, I agree with you completely!"
This must be a sign from God!" The woman continued, "And look at this, here's another miracle. My car is completely demolished but this bottle of wine didn't break. Surely God wants us to drink this wine and celebrate our good fortune."
Then she hands the bottle to the man. The man nods his head in agreement, opens it and drinks half the bottle and then hands it back to the woman. The woman takes the bottle, immediately puts the cap back on, and hands it back to the man.
The man asks, "Aren't you having any?"
The woman replies, "No. I think I'll just wait for the police..."
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