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():funny quotes (263): "Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards." |
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| Posted by Sam Malone on 09-Aug-2005 | "Keep your eyes wide open before marriage, half shut afterwards."Benjamin Franklin
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():funny quotes (263): "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight." |
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| Posted by Eddy on 09-Aug-2005 | "Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight."Phyllis Diller
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():funny quotes (263): "If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How
intelligent is it to start the |
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| Posted by coucool slim (moe dog) on 09-Aug-2005 | "If men can run the world, why can't they stop wearing neckties? How
intelligent is it to start theLinda Ellerbee
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| Posted by mecool30 on 13-Aug-2005 | SEINSeinfeldismsWhy doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?
Can fat people go skinny-dipping?
Can you be a closet claustrophobic?
Why is the word abbreviation so long?
Is it possible to be totally partial?
What's another word for thesaurus?
If a book about failures doesn't sell, is it a success?
If the funeral procession is at night, do folks drive with their lights off?
When companies ship Styrofoam, what do they pack it in?
If you're cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?
If a stealth bomber crashes in a forest, will it make a sound?
If the cops arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?
If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?
When it rains, why don't sheep shrink?
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers?
Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that eats only endangered plants?
Do hungry crows have ravenous appetites?
Why is bra singular and panties plural?
If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?
Instead of talking to your plants, if you yelled at them would they still grow? Only to be troubled and insecure?
Is there another word for synonym?
Isn't it a bit unnerving that doctors call what they do "practice"?
When sign makers go on strike, is anything written on their signs?
When you open a bag of cotton balls, is the top one meant to be thrown away?
Where do forest rangers go to "get away from it all"?
Why isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?
Why do they report power outages on TV?
--
Submitted by Angela Tuttle
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():funny quotes (263): "Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as
an assistant professor. It is |
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| Posted by Crusher on 09-Aug-2005 | "Our struggle today is not to have a female Einstein get appointed as
an assistant professor. It isBella Abzug
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():funny quotes (263): I think baseball would be a much more interesting sport if batters had
to use their arms instead of |
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| Posted by symmerhaze on 09-Aug-2005 | I think baseball would be a much more interesting sport if batters had
to use their arms instead ofAlan Smithee
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