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| Posted by Lisa M. Huffstutler on 09-Aug-2005 | Kids on proverbsA first grade teacher collected well known proverbs. She gave each kid in her class the first half of a proverb, and had them come up with the rest.
Better To Be Safe Than. .. Punch A 5th Grader.
Strike While The... Bug Is Close.
It's Always Darkest Before... Daylight Savings Time.
Never Under Estimate The Power Of.. Termites.
You Can Lead A Horse To Water But.. How?
Don't Bite The Hand That... Looks Dirty.
No News Is... Impossible.
A Miss Is As Good As A... Mr.
You Cant Teach An Old Dog New... Math.
If You Lie Down With The Dogs, You'll... Stink In The Morning.
Love All, Trust... Me!
The Pen Is Mightier Than The... Pigs.
An Idle Mind Is... The Best Way To Relax.
Where There's Smoke, There is... Pollution.
Happy The Bride Who... Gets All The Presents!
A Penny Saved Is... Not Much.
Two's Company, Three's... The Musketeers.
Don't Put Off Tomorrow What... You Put On To Go To Bed.
Laugh & The Whole World Laughs With You, Cry & You Have To Blow Your Nose.
None Are So Blind As... Helen Keller.
Children Should Be Seen And Not... Spanked Or Grounded.
If At First You Don't Succeed... Get New Batteries.
You Get Out Of Something What You... See Pictured On The Box.
When The Blind Leadeth The Blind... Get Out Of The Way.
There Is No Fool Like... Aunt Eddie.
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| Posted by dickster on 09-Aug-2005 | abstract noun"An abstract noun," the teacher said, "is something you can think of, but you can't touch it. Can you give me an example of one?"
"Sure," a teenage boy replied. "My father's new car."
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| Posted by Ashley E. Who Cares on 09-Aug-2005 | AccentsAbout a year ago my sister, who lives in Virginia, was talking with her four year old son, Brent. He was asking her why all their relatives from Wisconsin talk funny and sound like their noses are plugged up.
"They think we have an accent," she replied.
"But they have an accent, right?", Brent asked. "They talk funny?"
"Everybody talks in different ways" she tried to explain. "To them, we sound like we talk very slow and all our words are
d-r-a-w-n out."
His eyes got big, and he whispered seriously, "Oh, no. You mean they hear funny too?"
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| Posted by Samantha Kouts on 09-Aug-2005 | Santa ClausA few days after Christmas, my six-year-old son and I were talking. He asked, "Mom, is there a Santa Claus?"
"Well, what do you think?" I asked him.
He replied, "Well, my Playstation that I got and my gift from Santa were wrapped in the same kind of wrapping paper..."
He thought for a minute, then said, "I'll tell you what ... you and Dad can go on buying me presents and let's just forget we ever had this talk!"
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| Posted by Nicholas Hock on 09-Aug-2005 | Tooth FairyWhile working for an organization that delivers lunches to elderly shut-ins, I used to take my four-year-old daughter on my afternoon rounds.
She was unfailingly intrigued by the various appliances of old age, particularly the canes, walkers and wheelchairs.
One day I found her staring at a pair of false teeth soaking in a glass. As I braced myself for the inevitable barrage of questions, she merely turned and whispered, "The tooth fairy will never believe this!"
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| Posted by saber saint on 09-Aug-2005 | AlcoholA father was trying to teach his young son the evils of alcohol.
He put one worm in a glass of water and another worm in a glass of whiskey. The worm in the water lived, while the one in the whiskey curled up and died.
"All right, son," asked the father, "what does that show you?"
"Well, Dad, it shows that if you drink alcohol, you will not have worms."
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