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| Posted by wierdo on 13-Aug-2005 | Laboratory RabbitsA rabbit one day managed to break free from the laboratory where he had been born and brought up. As he scurried away from the fencing of the compound, he felt grass under his little feet and saw the dawn breaking for the first time in his life. 'Wow, this is great,' he thought. It wasn't long before he came to a hedge and, after squeezing under it he saw a wonderful sight lots of other bunny rabbits, all free and nibbling at the lush grass.
'Hey,' he called. 'I'm a rabbit from the laboratory and I've just escaped. Are you guys wild rabbits?'
'Yes we are. We're so glad you escaped, welcome to freedom, please come and join us,' they cried.
Our friend hopped over to them and after normal rabbit introductions, started eating the grass. It tasted so good. 'What else do you free rabbits do?' he asked.
'Well,' one of them said. 'You see that field there? It's got carrots growing in it. We dig them up and eat them.'
This, he couldn't resist and he spent the next hour eating the most succulent carrots. They were wonderful. Later, he asked them again, 'What else do free rabbits do?'
'You see that field there? It's got lettuce growing in it. We eat them as well.'
The lettuce tasted just as good and he returned a while later completely full. 'Is there anything else free rabbits do?' he asked. One of the other rabbits came a bit closer to him and spoke softly.
'There's one other thing you must try. You see those rabbits there,' he said, pointing to the far corner of the field. 'They're girls. We shag them. Go and try it.'
Well, our friend spent the rest of the morning screwing his little heart out until, completely knackered, he staggered back over to the guys.
'That was fantastic,' he panted.
'So are you going to live with us then?' one of them asked.
'I'm sorry, I had a great time but I can't.'
The wild rabbits all stared at him, a bit surprised. 'Why? We thought you liked it here.'
'I do,' our friend replied. 'But I must get back to the laboratory. I'm dying for a cigarette.'
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| Posted by Matt S on 13-Aug-2005 | Crazy mixone day there was a gay man who would always get a different man there were threemen and they were talking about how successful their kids were one man went to the bathroom and there left two men one said my son is an air pilot and he bought his girlfriend a airplane the other man said my son is a lawyer and bought his girlfriend a an car when the other guy came out the bathroom he said his son was gay and that his boyfriend bought him a car and an airplane not knowing the two other mens son was gay then the man said my son is dating your sons
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| Posted by Tommy K. Barf on 13-Aug-2005 | SuperbowlA guy wins tickets to the Super Bowl in a charity raffle.
Best seats in the house... right on the 50 yard line and close to the field.
As the game starts, he notices the seat next to him is empty.
He comments to the man across the gap: 'this is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the Super Bowl and not use it?!'
The man replies, 'Well, actually, the seat belongs to me. I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been together at since we got married in 1967.'
'Well, that's really sad, but still, you couldn't find anyone to take the seat? A friend or close relative?'
'No,' the man replies, 'They're all at the funeral.'
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| Posted by Eddie Parkes on 13-Aug-2005 | Two balck eyesOne day a man had gone to church without his wife, who stayed home to rest. When he returned, the wife instantly realized that her husband had two black eyes. " What on Earth happened?", she asked. " Well" ,began her husband, " I was sitting behind Birtha today and you know how she can have mood swings sometimes. When the priest asked us to stand, I noticed that her dress was wedged between her crack. I thought it might be uncomfortable, so I reached out and got it unstuck. To my suprise, she then turned around and punched me in the eye. "But honey", said his wife, " how did you get the other black eye?" "Well I thought she wanted it that way, so I put it back!"
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():nerd jokes (650): New experiences broaded. . . Some |
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| Posted by LadyBrat on 13-Aug-2005 | Grapes hahahaThree guys are walking along a road and it is getting dark so they have to find a place to stay! There is an old farm house so they walk up to it and ask the man if they can stay there the night, he says no because i dont want you to fool around with my daughter. They promise him they wouldnt and he says that they can stay in the barn but if he caught them he would shoot them. Later that night the daughter crept out to the barn, and the farmer caught them fooling around. He said now im gunna shoot yas well the 3 guys pleaded with him because the daughter came out to the barn eventually the farmer gave in, he said to them go out to my orchirds and pick 100 of your favourite fruit. They did as they were told. The first guy, Bob, came back and he had picked 100 green seedless grapes. In another room the farmer made him shove them up his ass. Bob left the room feeling a little bit green himself, but did not tell the other guys what was in store for them.
The second guy, John, walked in he had picked 100 red seeded grapes. The farmer made him shove them up his ass. At around 75 grapes, John laughed so hard he shitted about 30 out. The farmer told him to get on with it but again at 90 he shit about 20 out. The farmer yells Geez, boy whats the matter with you and John yells back in hysterics I was just looking out the window and Harry is out there picking watermelons!!!
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