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():funny thoughts (97): Last night I played a


Posted by ~rAcHel~ on 09-Aug-2005

Last night I played a

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The mime next door went nuts.

If a person with multiple personalities threatens suicide, is that considered a hostage situation?

Just think how much deeper the ocean would be if sponges didn't live there.

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?
   

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():funny thoughts (97): If progress is technology moving


Posted by Rebecca A. Detrich on 09-Aug-2005

If progress is technology moving

If progress is technology moving forward,then what is congress?

Why do we go under over-passes and over under-passes?

What if C-A-T really spelled DOG?

How do "Keep off the grass" signs get where they are?

If the plural of "mouse" is "mice, shouldn't the plural of "house" be "hice"?
   

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():funny thoughts (97): How can there be self-help


Posted by Pumpkin Pie on 09-Aug-2005

How can there be self-help

How can there be self-help "groups"?

If white wine goes with fish, do white grapes go with sushi?

If a mute swears, does his mother make him wash his hands with soap?

If someone has a mid-life crises while playing hide & seek, does he automatically lose because he can't find himself?
   

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():funny thoughts (97): Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the


Posted by Stu D. Baker on 09-Aug-2005

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the

Why isn't "palindrome" spelled the same way backwards?

Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?

You know that little indestructible black box that is used on planes, why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance?

Why is it that when you're driving and looking for an address, you turn down the volume on the radio?

If you have your finger touching the rearview mirror that says -- "objects in mirror are closer than they appear", how can that be possible?
   

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():funny thoughts (97): I believe for every drop


Posted by Sweet Buns on 09-Aug-2005
I believe for every drop
I believe for every drop of rain that falls, a flower grows. And a foundation leaks and a ball game gets rained out and a car rusts and...

If you don't like my driving, don't call anyone. Just take another road. That's why the highway department made so many of them.

When I'm feeling down, I like to whistle. It makes the neighbor's dog run to the end of his chain and gag himself.

Try a little kindness. As little as possible. Into every life some rain must fall. Usually when your car windows are down.
   

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():funny thoughts (97): Why Isn't there mouse-flavored cat


Posted by Angel2 on 09-Aug-2005
Why Isn't there mouse-flavored cat
Why Isn't there mouse-flavored cat food?

Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.

The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat drinking beer all day.

Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
   

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