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| Posted by Reflex449 on 10-Aug-2005 | Leaving EarlyThree girls all worked in the same office with the same female boss. Each day,
they noticed the boss left work early. One day, the girls decided that, when the
boss left, they would leave right behind her. After all, she never called or
came back to work, so how would she know they went home early?
The brunette was thrilled to be home early. She did a little gardening, spent
playtime with her son, and went to bed early.
The redhead was elated to be able to get in a quick workout at the spa before
meeting a dinner date. The blonde was happy to get home early and surprise her
husband, but when she got to her bedroom, she heard a muffled noise from inside.
Slowly and quietly, she cracked open the door and was mortified to see her
husband in bed with her boss! Gently, she closed the door and crept out of her
house.
The next day, at their coffee break, the brunette and redhead planned to leave
early again, and they asked the blonde if she was going to go with them. "No
way," the blonde exclaimed. "I almost got caught yesterday!"
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| Posted by Heaven on 10-Aug-2005 | Got any raisins?There was this duck that walked into a bar and sat down in a stool and the
bartender said, "Can I help you?"
The duck said, "quack, quack, quack,,, got any raisins?"
The bartender said, "NO! This is a bar and we don't sell raisins."
The duck walked out and then he came in the next day and sat in the very same
stool!
The bartender walked over and asked him if he could help him? The duck said,
"quack, quack, quack,,, got any raisins?"
The bartender said, "NO this is a BAR we don't sell raisins!" So the duck
walked out again and left.
He came back the next day and sat in the same stool once again! The duck
yelled at the bartender, "quack, quack, quack, and got any raisins?"
The bartender said, "NO. And if you come back here once more I am going to
nail your webbed feet to the ground and you are going to die there.??? The duck
said, "ok", and left.
The next day came and sure enough the duck came back except he only peeped his
head inside the door. He said, "quack, quack, got any nails?" The bartender
replied, "No!"
The duck said "Good, then you got any raisins?"
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| Posted by lilgreen on 10-Aug-2005 | Busch BereaBusch Berea very sexy redhead walks into a pub and takes a seat at the end of
the bar.
The bartender says to her, "What can I get yaw?"
The woman replies, "Give me a Busch Beer."
The bartender gets the beer and sets it in front of her. The woman immediately
picks up the beer, slams it down and passes out cold. Three men from the bar
drag her out back and have their way with her.
The following night, the same woman goes back to the same pub, takes a seat at
the same place at the end of the bar, and the same bartender asks, "What can I
get yaw?"
The woman replies, "Give me a Busch Beer."
The bartender gets the beer and sets it in front of her. The woman immediately
picks up the beer, slams it down and passes out cold. Four men from the bar drag
her out back and have their way with her.
The following night, the same woman goes back to the same pub, takes a seat at
the same place at the end of the bar, and the same bartender says, "I know, you
want a Busch..."
The woman stops him and says, "No, you better make it a Bud Light, that Busch
makes my pussy hurt???.
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| Posted by Joe Skager on 10-Aug-2005 | Blood BarThree Vampires walk into a bar and sit down.
The bartender comes over and ask them what they want to drink
1st Vampire: Give me a shot of blood
2nd Vampire: I want a double shot
3rd Vampire: All I want is a cup of hot water
So the bartender goes and gets the drinks and comes back. He hands them the
drinks, but looks kind of confused.
The bartender asked the 3rd vampire why didn't you order any blood the vampire
pulls out a tampon and replies "I'm making tea".
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| Posted by Mike - on 10-Aug-2005 | Bar ChallengeNew guy in town walks into a bar and reads a sign that hangs over the bar.
FREE BEER FOR THE PERSON WHO CAN PASS OUR TEST!
So the guy asks the bartender what the test is. The Bartender replies "Well,
first you have to drink that whole gallon of pepper tequila, the whole thing at
once and you can't make a face while doing it. Second, there's a 'gator out back
with a sore tooth...you have to remove it with your bare hands. Third, there's a
woman up-stairs who's never had an orgasm. You got to make things right for
her."
The guy says, "Well, as much as I would love free beer, I won't do it. You
have to be nuts to drink a gallon of pepper tequila and then get crazier from
there. Well, as time goes on and the man drinks a few, he asks, "Where sat
tequila?"
He grabs the gallon of tequila with both hands, and downs it with a big slurp
and tears streaming down his face. Next, he staggers out back and soon all the
people inside hear the most frightening roaring and thumping, then silence.
The man staggers back into the bar, his shirt ripped, and big scratches all
over his body. "Now" he says "Where's that woman with the sore tooth?"
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| Posted by Tyler R. Dumas on 10-Aug-2005 | The Emotional HorseOne day a guy walks into a bar. The bartender says "if you can make that horse
over there laugh you can have free drinks for the rest of the night".
So he says "ok" and walks over to the horse and whispers something in his ear
and he starts laughing and the bartender gives him free drinks for the rest of
the night.
The next night the same guy comes back in and the bartender says "if you can
make that horse over their cry I will give you free drinks for the rest of the
night.
So he walks over there and does something and the horse starts crying, and the
bartender gives him free drinks. Then the bartender asks what the man did to
make the horselaugh and what he did to make him cry.
The man says "To make him laugh I told him I had a bigger dick than he does
and to make him cry I showed him".
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