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| Posted by QTKo on 10-Aug-2005 | Little LeroyLittle Leroy went to his mother demanding a new bicycle. His mother decided
that he should take a look at himself and the way he acts.
She said, "Well Leroy, it isn't Christmas and we don't have the money to just
go out and buy you anything you want. So why don't you write a letter to Jesus
and pray for one instead."
After his temper tantrum, his mother sent him to his room. He finally sat down
to write a letter to Jesus.
Dear Jesus,
I've been a good boy this year and would appreciate a new bike.
Your friend,
Leroy
Now Leroy figured that Jesus really knew what kind of boy he was (brat). So,
he ripped up the letter and decided to give it another try.
Dear Jesus,
I've been an OK boy this year and want a new bicycle.
Yours truly,
Leroy
Well, Leroy knew this wasn't totally honest so he tore it up and tried again.
Dear Jesus,
I've thought about being a good boy this year and can I have a new bicycle?
Leroy
Well, Leroy looked deep down in his heart, which by the way was what his
mother really wanted, and he decided to crumple up the letter and throw it in
the trash can as he went running outside. He wandered aimlessly about; depressed
because of the way he treated his parents, really considering his actions. He
finally found himself in a Catholic Church. Leroy went inside and knelt down,
looking around not knowing what he should really do.
Leroy finally got up and began to walk out the door and was looking at all the
statues. All of a sudden, he grabbed a small one and ran out the door. He went
home hid it under his bed and wrote this letter:
Jesus,
I've broken most of the Ten Commandments; shot spit wads in school, tore up my
sister's Barbie doll and lots more. I'm desperate! I've got your mama and if you
ever want to see her again give me a bike!
You know who
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| Posted by Brandy M. Richmond on 10-Aug-2005 | Biting your fingernails!Little Jimmy bit his fingernails all the time. His parents tried everything to
get him to stop, but to no avail. Finally, his mother, exasperated, decided to
tell him a little white lie to get him to stop.
"Jimmy," she said, "You'd better stop biting your fingernails. If you don't,
then those fingernails will pile up inside your stomach and soon your stomach
will be huge and full of fingernails." Jimmy, worried about the idea of
fingernails in his stomach, agreed to stop.
The next day, Jimmy and his mom were shopping in a supermarket. They went to
check out, and a pregnant woman was waiting in line in front of them. Jimmy
beamed at the pregnant woman and said, "I know what YOU'VE been doing...."
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10 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by creamofsumdumguy on 09-Aug-2005 | 3 Little PigsMy friend likes to read his two young sons fairy tales at night.
Having a deep-rooted sense of humor, he often adlibs parts of the stories for fun.
One day his youngest son was sitting in his new entrants class as the teacher was reading the story of the Three Little Pigs. She came to the part where the first pig was trying to acquire building materials for his home.
She said, 'And so the pig went up to the man with a wheelbarrow full of straw and said, "Pardon me, sir, but might I have some of that straw to build my house with?"
Then the teacher asked the class, 'And what do you think that man said?'
And my friend's son raised his hand and said 'I know! I know. He said, "Holy shit! A talking pig!"'
The teacher was unable to teach for the next 10 minutes.
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8 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by mr piemanmoo on 08-Aug-2005 | Little Jane climbs a tree...Little Jane came home from school and said, "Mommy mommy guess what? These boys wanted me to climb up a tree, so I did."
Her mom said, "You don't be a' doin' that! Those boys just wanted to see your panties!"
"Ok mommy", little Jane said.
The next day at school, the boys asked her to do it again, so she did, and at the end of the day she told her mom and her mom said, "I told you not to be a doin' that! Those boys just wanted to look at your panties!"
Little Jane looked at her mother and said, "Don't worry, mommy. I was smart this time... I didn't wear any panties."
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9 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Hector R. Cruz on 09-Aug-2005 | $100 PleaseA little boy wanted $100, badly and prayed for two weeks but nothing
happened. Then he decided to write a letter to the Lord requesting the $100.
When the postal authorities received the letter addressed to the Lord, USA, they decided to send it to President Clinton. The President was so impressed, touched, and amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $5.00 bill. President Clinton thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy. The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 and sat down to write a thank-you note to the Lord. It said:
Dear Lord,
Thank you very much for sending me the money. However, I noticed that
for some reason you had to send it through Washington, DC and as
usual, those jerks deducted $95.
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7 people have rated this joke: |
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