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():animal jokes (1719): Little Princess meets a talking frog... |
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| Posted by Rebecca j. Mallett on 14-Aug-2005 | Little Princess meets a talking frog...Once upon a time, a beautiful, independent, self assured
princess happened upon a frog in a pond. The frog said to the
princess, "I was once a handsome prince until an evil witch put
a spell on me. One kiss from you and I will turn back into a
prince and then we can marry, move into the castle with my mom,
and you can prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children
and forever feel happy doing so."
That night, while the princess dined on frogs legs, she laughed
to herself and thought "I don't fucking think so."
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| Posted by jake hatesworth on 14-Aug-2005 | RoarOne night, at the lodge of a hunting club, two new members were being
introduced to other members and shown around. The man leading them around
said, "See that old man asleep in the chair by the fireplace? He is our
oldest member and can tell you some hunting stories you'll never forget."
They awakened the old man and asked him to tell them a hunting story.
"Well, I remember back in 1944, we went on a lion hunting expedition in
Africa. We were on foot and hunted for three days without seeing a thing.
On the fourth day, I was so tired I had to rest my feet. I found a fallen
tree, so I laid my gun down, propped my head on the tree, and fell asleep.
I don't know how long I was asleep when I was awakened by a noise in the
bushes. I was reaching for my gun when the biggest lion I ever saw jumped
out of the bushes at me like this, ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!! I
tell you, I just shit in my pants." The young men looked astonished and
one of them said, "I don't blame you, I would have shit my pants too if a
lion jumped out at me." The old man shook his head and said, "No, no, not
then, just now when I said ROOOAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!!!!
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| Posted by helen w on 14-Aug-2005 | Do you have a problemA bear decides to go take a shit in the woods. Upon entering the
woods, he sees a rabbit doing the same as he is about to do. So
he takes his shit and notices that he got shit on his hair
again. He asked the rabbit, "Hey rabbit, do you have a problem
with shit sticking to your hair?" The rabbit replied, "No." So
the bear picked up the rabbit and wiped his ass with him.
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| Posted by stephanie l. gregory on 14-Aug-2005 | Firetruck SirenOne day a man is walking down the street, when he notices a
young boy in a wagon fixed up to look like a firetruck. The man
also notices that the wagon is being pulled by a dog with a rope
attached to his nards! The dog is, of course, howling like a
banshee, and inching along ever so slowly. The man thinks for a
moment, then approaches the boy and says: "You know, son, the
dog would probably pull you faster if you had the rope attached
to his leash." The boy looks up at the man and says: "Well,
yeah, maybe, but then I wouldn't have this really cool siren!"
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| Posted by Orphan Annie on 14-Aug-2005 | Animal TriviaLittle Johny asks the teacher, "How many feathers are there on a bird's
wing?"
The teacher answered, "I don't know."
Little Johny then asked, "How many stripes are there on a bee's body?"
The teacher answered, "I don't know"
Then Little Johny asked, "How many lives does a cat have?"
Happily the teacher answered, "Nine lives."
Little Johny followed up, "How come you know so much about pussy and
nothing about the birds and the bees?"
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| Posted by Charlie Rich on 14-Aug-2005 | Snake TalkTwo snakes were crawling along when one snake asked the
other, "Are we poisonous snakes?"
The other replied, "You're darn right we're poisonous!
We're rattlesnakes. Why do you ask?"
To which the first replied, "Because I just bit my tongue."
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