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| Posted by Fred J. Chisman on 09-Aug-2005 | Lost bagA lady lost her handbag in the bustle of shopping at the mall. It was found by an honest little boy, who returned it to her.
Looking in her purse, she commented, "Hmm, that's funny. When I lost my bag, there was a $20 bill in it. Now there are twenty $1 bills."
The boy quickly replied, "That's right, lady. The last time I found a lady's purse, she didn't have any change for a reward."
Submitted by blueindiansquaw
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Jesi Lucjak on 09-Aug-2005 | Johnny's thinkingOne day in class the teacher brought a bag full of fruit.
"Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit, and you tell what fruit I'm talking about."
"Okay, first: it's round, plump and red."
Of course, Johnny raised his hand high, but the teacher, wisely ignored him and picked Deborah, who promptly answered, "An apple."
The teacher replied, "No, Deborah, it's a beet, but I like your thinking."
"Now for the second. It's soft, fuzzy,and colored red and brownish."
Johnny is hopping up and down in his seat trying to get the teacher to call on him. But she skips him again and calls on Billy.
"Is it a peach?" Billy asks. "No, Billy, I'm afraid it's a potato. But I like your thinking," the teacher replies.
"Here's another: it's long, yellow, and fairly hard."
By now Johnny is about to explode as he waves his hand frantically. The teacher skips him again and calls on Sally.
"A banana," she says.
"No," the teacher replies, "it's a squash, but I like your thinking."
Johnny is kind of irritated now, so he speaks up loudly. "Hey, I've got one for you teacher; let me put my hand in my pocket. Okay, I've got it: it's round, hard, and it has a head on it."
"Johnny!" she cries. "That's disgusting!"
"Nope," answers Johnny, "it's a quarter, but I like your thinking!"
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Glaci
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| Posted by Jizzle on 09-Aug-2005 | Boy ScoutWhen does a cub scout become a boy scout?
When he eats his first brownie.
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Snah Nesenra on 09-Aug-2005 | Tiger huntingA father was taking his boy tiger hunting.
They were creeping through the weeds and the father says, "Son, this hunt marks your passage into manhood. Do you have any questions?"
"Yes," he replies "If the tiger kills you, how do I get home?
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by George Washington on 09-Aug-2005 | Anatomy lessonLittle Johnny's mother decided to give her son an anatomy lesson one day.
She took off all of her clothes and pointed to her vagina, and said, "Johnny, this is where you come from."
Johnny went to school the next day smiling and insisting that all his friends now refer to him as "Lucky Johnny."
"Why?" one asked.
Johnny held his fingers an inch apart and said, "Because I came this close to being a little shit."
Submitted by calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by yazziegurl on 09-Aug-2005 | AntsA teacher was talking to her class about the rewards of hard work. "The ant is an example to us all," she said. "Every day the ant goes to work. Every day the ant is busy. And in the end what happens?"
From the back of the classroom a student shouted, "Someone steps on it!"
Submitted by Calamjo
Edited by Curtis
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