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| Posted by bigbs16 on 13-Aug-2005 | Matapang dawsa isang bayan ng batangas may isang maton ..pag ito ay nalalasing ay lagi na lang naghahanap ng away ..isang araw ay lasing na lasing ang maton ..LABAS LUMABAS ANG MATAPANG..so alang lumabas balik uli siya sa inuman ng walang sabi sabi ay may nagpaputok ng baril..BANG!!sino yun ha ..(sabi ng lasing)AKO BAKIT MAY REKLAMO!!(SABI NAMAN NOONG NAGPAPUTOK NG BARIL)(MATON)ang lakas ng putok e bingi akooo..
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| Posted by Becca on 13-Aug-2005 | Drunk hung overthat guy is so hung over that a hang nail would say dam
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():bar jokes (2610): what do you get if you cross a labradore and... |
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| Posted by Niko Tsocanos on 13-Aug-2005 | what do you get if you cross a labradore and...what do you get if you cross a labradore and a rockviler? a dog that scares the shit out of you then runs away with the toilet role
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| Posted by PIMP on 14-Aug-2005 | Bar TenderA man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer."
The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars."
The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender.
"Sorry, sir," the bartender says, "but I can't accept that."
The man pulls out a ten-dollar bill and the bartender rejects his money again. "What's going on here?" the man asks.
Pointing to a neon sign, the bartender explains, "This is a Singles Bar."
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| Posted by Chris J. Uptmor on 08-Aug-2005 | Are you my wife?A serious drunk walked into a bar and, after staring for some time at the only woman seated at the bar, walked over to her and kissed her. She jumped up and slapped him silly. He immediately apologized and explained, "I'm sorry. I thought you were my wife. You look exactly like her."
"Why you worthless, insufferable, wretched, no good drunk!" she screamed.
"Funny," he muttered, "you even sound exactly like her."
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| Posted by Cassie Friend on 08-Aug-2005 | 20 dollars20 dollars
Two men are in a bar getting drunk. Suddenly one of them throws up all over himself.
He says "Oh, no. Now my wife will kill me".
His friend says "Don't worry. Just tuck a twenty dollar bill in your breast pocket and tell your wife that someone threw up on you and gave you twenty dollars for the dry cleaning bill".
So they stay for another couple of hours and get even drunker.
Eventually he reels home and his wife starts to give him a bad time.
"You reek of alcohol and you've thrown up all over yourself, my God you're disgusting" etc.
Speaking very carefully so as not to slur, he says, "Wait. It's not what you think. I only had one drink, but this man was sick on me. He'd obviously had one too many, or else he just couldn't hold his liquor. He was very sorry and he gave me twenty dollars for the cleaning bill. Look in my breast pocket."
She looks in his breast pocket and says, "But this is forty dollars".
"Ah, yes." says the man. "He pee'd in my trousers too".
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