|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by David Zielinski on 13-Aug-2005 | Mets FanA first grade teacher explains to her class that she is a NY METS fan. She asks her students to raise their hands if they were Met fans too.
Not really knowing what a METS fan was but wanting to be like their teacher, their hands explode into the air like fleshy fireworks. There is, however, one exception. A girl named Lucy has not gone along with the crowd. The teacher asks her why she has decided to be different.
"Because I'm not a METS fan,"
Then, asks the teacher, what are you?"
"Why I'm proud to be a Yankees fan," boasts the little girl. The teacher is a little perturbed now, her face slightly red.
She asks Lucy why she is a Yankees fan. "Well, My Dad and Mom are Yankee fans, and I'm a Yankee fan too,"
The teacher is now angry. "That's no reason," she says loudly. "What if your mom was a moron, and your dad was a moron. What would you be then?"
A pause, and a smile. "Then," says Lucy, "I'd be a METS fan."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Jason Cox on 13-Aug-2005 | Basketball FanAn elementary teacher started at a new school in Los Angeles. Trying to make a good connection with the students on her first day, she told her class that she was a Lakers fan. She asked if anyone else here was a Lakers fan? Everyone in the class raised their hand except one little girl. The teacher looked at the little girl with surprise, and asked: "Mary, why didn't you raise your hand?"
Mary replied: "Because I'm not a Lakers fan!"
The teacher felt a little competitive and asked: "Well, if you're not a Lakers fan, then whom do you support?"
"I'm a Sonics fan, and proud of it!" Mary replied, folding her little arms across her chest.
"Mary, why are you a Sonics fan?"
"Because my Mom and dad are from Seattle and my Mom is a Sonics fan and my dad is a Sonics fan, so I'm a Sonics fan too!"
"Well," said the teacher, knowing she was loosing it, "that's still no reason for you to be a Sonics fan. You don't have to be just like your parents all of the time. What if your Mom was a prostitute and your dad was a drug addict and a car thief, what would you be then?" As the words left he mouth, the teacher realized that if her new principal wasn't also a HUGE Lakers fan, that she may have ended her career right then and there. Trying to hide her shock at her own words, she stared at little Mary who stared back coldly.
With daggers of ice between each of her words, Mary said: "In that case I'd be a Blazers fan."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by jesse d. stojan on 13-Aug-2005 | Mike TysonQ: What did Louis Farrakahn say to Mike Tyson after the fight?
A: No stupid an Eye for an Eye!!!!
Tyson's psychologist told Mike to take a year off, he obviously misunderstood....good thing he didn't say two!
Evander after the fight,"Maybe I shouldn't have told him to Bite Me'"
Tyson's favorite football team is the Tampa Bay Buc-an-EARS.
For the third fight between Mike and Evander, Tyson wants it to be held in Earie, PA.
New Tyson burger: There is a piece of the champ in every bite!!!
They are making a new boxing term for Tyson....instead of KO, it will be a Van Gogh.
Can't beat um...Eat um!!!!
In this corner Evander "the Real Meal" Holyfield!!!!!!!
Before the fight, Mike's trainer told him to get a piece of Holyfied. Oops, bad advice.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
():sport jokes (950): The Top 16 Signs Baseball Spring Training Has Started |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Angie_Babes on 13-Aug-2005 | The Top 16 Signs Baseball Spring Training Has Started16> The air is filled with the gentle "twang" of pulled groin muscles.
15> 48 states dealing with shortage of hookers and cliches.
14> Police abandon strict enforcement of harsh "No Pepper" laws.
13> A lonely Marge Schott once again combs Florida bars for an eligible White Supremacist to bed.
12> South American drug cartels shift to round-the-clock production schedules.
11> Bat construction industry shifts from "spouse beating bats" to "baseball bats."
10> Business up 4000% at the Ft. Lauderdale Hooters.
9> Morganna the Gumming Bandit is sighted doing wind sprints.
8> Thirty injured in whirlwind created by frenzy of sports reporters sucking up to Ken Griffey, Jr.
7> El Nino floodwaters: clear. Tobacco juice floodwaters: brown. It ain't rocket science, Chester.
6> Pete Rose sends Hall of Fame voting members the FTD "Let-Me-In" Bouquet.
5> The Florida Marlins trade Gary Sheffield for Harry Caray.
4> Your hubby can't get aroused unless you "bend over and sweep home plate" first.
3> Stadium hot dog vendors gleefully skim the scum off last year's weenie water.
2> Dwight Gooden finally begins to stir from his New Year's Eve stupor.
1> George Will's sphincter relaxes to nearly-human dimensions.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by K S on 13-Aug-2005 | Excuses, Excuses...A vacationing golfer was out playing on a course that he had never played before. He hired a caddie from the pro shop to show him the layout of the course, and help him decide what shots to play.
On the first tee, the golfer missed his shot, and it dribbled forward about 15 yards. He was slightly embarrassed, but determined to play a better second shot. He hit his second shot into the bordering fairway, and his third shot into a sand trap. By the time he holed out on this Par 4, he was 6 over par.
The man turned to his caddie and said, "Well, I have never played this badly before!"
To which the caddie replied, "I didn't realize you had played before, sir."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
