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Miss Bindle was the Jesse James of sarcasm: she could quick-draw a sarcastic remark and drill you b

Patrick F. McManus

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	():funny quotes (263): Cats, Dogs, Pigs

Posted by Cassie Hart on 13-Aug-2005

Cats, Dogs, Pigs

I like pigs. Dogs look up to us. Cats look down on us.
Pigs treat us as equals.

- Winston Churchill

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	():funny quotes (263): More random quotes

Posted by Patrick Worthington on 13-Aug-2005

More random quotes

You don't sew with a fork, so I see no reason to eat with knitting needles. --Miss Piggy, on eating Chinese Food

Collaboration, n.: A literary partnership based on the false assumption that the other fellow can spell.

The difference between science and the fuzzy subjects is that science requires reasoning while those other subjects merely require scholarship. --Robert Heinlein

Whom computers would destroy, they must first drive mad.

An American is a person who isn't afraid to criticize the President but is always polite to traffic cops.

Graduate life -- it's not just a job, it's an indenture.

Hlade's Law: If you have a difficult task, give it to a lazy person -- they will find an easier way to do it.

There's no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.

Taxes, n.: Of life's two certainties, the only one for which you can get an extension.

Birth, n.: The first and direst of all disasters. --Ambrose Bierce, 'The Devil's Dictionary'

Teamwork is essential -- it allows you to blame someone else.

A budget is just a method of worrying before you spend money... as well as afterward.

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	():funny quotes (263): Water Filtration System

Posted by seven420 on 13-Aug-2005

Water Filtration System

'When the water of a place is bad it is safest to drink none that has not been filtered through either the berry of a grape, or else a tub of malt. These are the most reliable filters yet invented.' -- Samuel Butler (1835-1902)

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	():funny quotes (263): Sayings you'd like to see on office inspirational posters

Posted by Lexi M. Johnson on 13-Aug-2005

Sayings you'd like to see on office inspirational posters

Sayings you'd like to see on office inspirational posters

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If you do a good job and work hard, you may get a job with a better company someday.

The light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off due to budget cuts.

Sure, you may not like working here, but we pay your rent.

If you think we're a bad firm, you should see our rivals!

Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings -- they did it by killing all those who opposed them.

A person who smiles in the face of adversity... probably has a scapegoat.

ABANDON ALL HOPE, YE WHO ENTER HERE.....

2 days without a Human Rights Violation!

If at first you don't succeed - try management.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can avoid altogether.

Never quit until you have another job.

Work harder you slaves!

The beatings will continue until morale improves.

If you can read this, you're not working!

Hang in there, retirement is only thirty years away!

Go the extra mile - It makes your boss look like an incompetent slacker.

Pride, commitment, teamwork - words we use to get you to work for free.

Succeed in spite of management.

Work: It isn't just for sleeping anymore.

There are two kinds of people in life... people who like their jobs and people who don't work here anymore.

Department of Defense: we kill people - so you don't have to!

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