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| Posted by Scott on 09-Aug-2005 | Modern Day RussiaRussian woman walked into an empty Moscow shop. I see you have no vegetables today."
"No", said the shopkeeper, "this is a butcher shop. It's meat we haven't got. The shop with no vegetables is further down the street."
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| Posted by Guillermo Macias on 09-Aug-2005 | Spending a PennyA woman goes to the doctor's and says, "Doctor, Doctor, you have to help me. Every time I go to the bathroom, DIMES come out!"
The doctor tells her to relax, go home, rest with her feet up and come back in a week.
A week later the woman returns and says, "Doctor, Doctor, it's gotten worse!
Every time I go to the bathroom, QUARTERS come out!! What's wrong with me?"
Again the doctor tells her to relax, go home, rest with her feet up and come back in a week.
Another week passes and the woman returns and yells, "Doctor, Doctor, I'm still not getting better! Every time I go to the bathroom, HALF-DOLLARS come out! WHAT THE HECK IS WRONG WITH ME?!!"
The doctor says, "Relax, Relax,... you're just going through the change!
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| Posted by John Smith on 09-Aug-2005 | Doctors on Strike"Doctors at a hospital in Brooklyn, New York have gone on strike. Hospital officials say they will find out what the Doctors' demands are as soon as they can get a pharmacist over there to read the picket signs!"
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| Posted by Cameron Dude on 09-Aug-2005 | Coded Communications"Skipper," the sailor said to his captain as he saluted, "a special message just came in for you from the admiral. I have it right here."
"Read it to me," the captain ordered. The sailor read, "You are without a doubt the most idiotic, lame-brained officer ever to command a ship in the United States Navy."
The skipper responded, "Have that communication decoded at once!"
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| Posted by Alex A. Mistratov on 09-Aug-2005 | The Perfect Flight?The passengers were leaving the plane after landing, and one smiling, satisfied passenger paused to congratulate the flight attendant.
"Stewardess," he said happily, "I want to compliment you and the crew and especially the captain for getting here right on time. It's not often that an airline gets to where it's going exactly when they claim it will. I'm going to call your home office and let them know how pleased I am."
"Why, thank you, sir," the flight attendant answered, "but I think you should know--this is yesterday's flight."
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| Posted by #1 BABE on 09-Aug-2005 | Work Time HaircutBoss: I notice you go out and get your hair cut during business hours.
Employee: My hair grows during business hours.
Boss: But it doesn't all grow during business hours.
Employee: I didn't get it all cut.
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