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():funny quotes (263): More of Life's Questions


Posted by Michelle Robertson on 13-Aug-2005

More of Life's Questions

1. Is it good if a vacuum really sucks?

2. Why is the third hand on the watch called the second hand?

3. If a word is misspelled in the dictionary, how would we ever know?

4. If Webster wrote the first dictionary, where did he find the words?

5. Why do we say something is out of whack? What is a whack?

6. Why does "slow down" and "slow up" mean the same thing?

7. Why does "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

8. Why do 'tug' boats push their barges?

9. Why do we sing "Take me out to the ball game" when we are already there?

10. Why are they called "stands" when they are made for sitting?

11. Why is it called "after dark" when it really is "after light" ?

12. Doesn't 'expecting the unexpected" make the unexpected expected?

13. Why are a 'wise man' and a 'wise guy' opposites?

14. Why do 'overlook and 'oversee' mean opposite things?

15. Why is phonics not spelled the way it sounds?

16. If work is so terrific, why do they have to pay you to do it?

17. If all the world is a stage, where is the audience sitting?

18. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?

19. If you are cross-eyed and have dyslexia, can you read all right?

20. Why is bra singular and panties plural?

21. Why do you press harder on the buttons of a remote control when you know the batteries are dead?

22. Why do we put suits in garment bags and garments in a suitcase?

23. How come abbreviated is such a long word?

24. Why do we wash bath towels? Aren't we clean when we use them?

25. Why doesn't glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

26. Why do they call it a TV set, when you only get one?


   

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():funny quotes (263): Only a fool would leave the enjoyment of rainbows...


Posted by JonHui666 on 07-Aug-2005

Only a fool would leave the enjoyment of rainbows...

Only a fool would leave the enjoyment of rainbows to the opticians. Or give the science of optics the last word on the matter.
- Edward Abbey

   

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():funny quotes (263): Advice from Alice in Wonderland


Posted by Josh Price on 13-Aug-2005

Advice from Alice in Wonderland

"Be what you would seem to be" -- or if you'd like it put more simply -- "Never imagine yourself not to be otherwise than what it might appear to others that what you were or might have been was not otherwise than what you had been would have appeared to them to be otherwise."

- the Duchess' advice to Alice in chapter 9 of
"Alice's Adventures in Wonderland"


   

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():funny quotes (263): "I think a secure profession for young people...


Posted by ~*Angel*~ on 07-Aug-2005

"I think a secure profession for young people...

"I think a secure profession for young people is history teacher, because in the future, there will be so much more of it to teach."
- Bill Muse

   

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():funny quotes (263): The man who fears no truths has nothing to...


Posted by Mallory A. Sharon on 07-Aug-2005
The man who fears no truths has nothing to...
The man who fears no truths has nothing to fear from lies.
- Thomas Jefferson

   

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():funny quotes (263): "The future will be better tomorrow."...


Posted by hello people on 07-Aug-2005
"The future will be better tomorrow."...
"The future will be better tomorrow."
- J. Danforth Quayle, former U.S. Vice-President

   

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