|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by Pimp Daddy on 09-Aug-2005 | Moron KidAfter my 11 year old son did something really dumb, I called him a "moron." He looked at he like he was saying,
"Dad, do you know anything?"
He finally said "Dad I looked 'moron' up in the dictionary and the definition of it is 'a person who has the intelligence of a 12 year old.' Thanks Dad, you just gave me a compliment!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Lavin Beldleveu on 09-Aug-2005 | Blonde On TopLittle Willie had a gambling problem. He'd bet on anything. One day, Willie's father consulted his teacher.
The teacher said. "Mr.Gaines, I think I know how to teach Willie a real lesson. We'll trap him into a big wager that he'll lose."
Willie's father agreed to cooperate with the plan.
The next day at school, the teacher watched Willie making wagers with the other children, and she said, "Willie, I want you to remain after class."
When the others had left the classroom, Willie walked up to the teacher. Before she could say a word, he said, " Dont say it, Miss Brown; I know what you're going to say, but you're a liar!"
"Willie!" the startled teacher said." What are you talking about."
"Your a fake!" Willie continued."How can I believe anything you tell me? You've got this blond hair on top, but I've seen your bush and it's pitch black!"
Trying to keep her cool, the teacher said, "Willie that isn't true."
"I'll bet a dollar it is !" Willie challenged.
The teacher saw her chance to teach Willie his lesson."Make it five dollars and you have a bet," she said.
"You're on!" Willie whipped out a five dollar bill. Before anyone could come into the room, Miss Brown. dropped her panties, spread her legs, and showed Willie that her pubic hair was as blond as the hair on top of her head.
Willie hung his head. "You win," he said, handing her the fiver. Miss. Brown couldn't wait for him to leave so she could get to a phone to call his father. She reported what had happened. "Mr. Gaines," she said, "I think we've finally taught him his lesson."
"The hell we have," the father muttered. "This morning Willie bet me ten dollars that he'd see your pussy before the day was over.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Justin M. Bentley on 09-Aug-2005 | Taken ApartLittle Jonny asked his mother "Ma, is it true that people can be taken apart like machines?"
"Of course not, where did you hear such nonsense?" replied by his mother
Little Jonny answered " The other day, Daddy was talking to someone on the phone, and he said that he screwed the ass off his secretary."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Lucky A. Shorty on 09-Aug-2005 | Birds and BeesA rancher was helping one of his cows give birth, when he noticed his four-year-old son tanding at the fence, wide-eyed and soaking in the whole event.
The rancher thought to himself, "Great, now I'm gonna have to explain the 'birds and bees'. Well, no need to jump the gun. I'll just let him ask the questions and I'll answer as best I can."
After everything was over, the Rancher walked over to his son and said, "Well, son, do you have any questions?"
"Just one," gasped the still wide-eyed lad. "How fast was that calf going when he hit the cow?"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Cameron on 09-Aug-2005 | Sent to Your Room"When I was a youngster," complained the frustrated father, shaking his head, "I was disciplined by being sent to my room without supper. But our son has his own color TV, phone, computer and CD player."
"So what do you do when your son misbehaves?" asked his friend.
"I send him to our room!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Paul R. Flanigan on 09-Aug-2005 | Distructive FartThere was 3 people in an airplane : a librarian a teacher and an army guy.
The librarian said "I always wanted to throw a book out the window". So she did.
The teacher said "I always wanted to throw an apple out the window". With that she did.
The army guy said "well since they are I might as well throw a bomb out the window". And he did.
The plane lands and they go walking and they see this boy crying. The librarian asks why he is crying.
"I was walking and a book hit me on the head", said the boy.
They walk a little further and they see this girl crying. They ask why she is crying and say says "I was walking and all of the sudden an apple hit me on the head!"
They continue walking and a little further and they see a boy rolling on the ground laughing.
"Why are you laughing?", they ask.
The little boy says "I was walking and when I farted the building over there behind me blew up!"
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
