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| Posted by Scott Mcrae on 11-Aug-2005 | Murphy Laws of Computing1. When computing, whatever happens, behave as though you meant it to happen.
2. When you get to the point where you really understand your computer, it??™s probably obsolete.
3. The first place to look for information is in the section of the manual where you??™d least expect to find it.
4. When the going gets tough, upgrade.
5. For every action, there is an equal and opposite malfunction.
6. To err is human...to blame your computer for your mistakes is even more human, its downright natural.
7. He who laughs last, probably has a back-up.
8. The number one cause of computer problems is computer solutions.
9. A complex system that doesn??™t work is invariably found to have evolved from a simpler system that worked just fine.
10. A computer program will always do what you tell it to do, but rarely what you want it to do.
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| Posted by matthew o. travitz on 11-Aug-2005 | A Message From Your ComputerYou look really sexy in that...thing you've got on tonight. I
like the way your eyes are always open when you read your
E-Mail. When you type, it reminds me of a concert pianist
tinkling on her keys.
You really know how to push the right buttons to turn me on.
If I wasn't a computer, I'd show you what "Hard Drive" really
means!
But Alas, I'm only a bundle of circuits and wires, obeying
your every command. Yes mistress! I'll balance your cheque-
book. Yes mistress! I'll run your silly little program.
Don't get me wrong...I like the Master/Slave thing, but
maybe just once in a while you could show some
compassion? Maybe instead of just ramming the diskette in,
you could slide it in slowly, maybe even blow in the slot
first. And maybe instead of just using me and turning me off
when you're through, we could talk for a while afterwards?
I know other computers have hurt you in the past. But I'm
different! I may be a little slow, but I've got a big mouse!
So come on baby, don't fight it. You know you want it. I'll
just turn off the lights and . . . and . . . what? Ok . . .well, will
you at least think about it?
I'm so embarrassed,
Your Computer.
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| Posted by Mr Female on 08-Aug-2005 | pirate walks in to a bara pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheels in his pants and the bartender says u know u have a steering in ur pants and the pirate says arg its drivin my nuts crazy
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