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| Posted by Emmorality on 14-Aug-2005 | Never Beat AnyoneOne girl's parents beat her, so she had to go to court to decide
who she would stay with, the judge asked her, "Little girl,
would you like to stay with your mommy?" The little girl said,
"No. my mommy beats me." So then the judge asked if the little
girl wanted to stay with her daddy. The little girl said, "No,
my daddy beats me." After that the judge gave up and said,
"Little girl, if you don't want to stay with your mommy or
daddy, who do you want to stay with?" The little girl simply
replied, "I want to stay with the Rams, they never beat anyone!"
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| Posted by Japeloup on 14-Aug-2005 | Sports? Nah.....I wanted to have a career in sports when I was young, but I had
to give up the idea. I'm only six feet tall, so I couldn't play
basketball. I'm only 190 pounds, so I couldn't play football,
and I have 20/20 vision, so I couldn't be a referee.
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| Posted by Jizzle on 14-Aug-2005 | Math TestA football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to
his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you
failed math, but we need you in there. So what I have to do is ask you a
math question, and if you get it right, you can play." The player agreed,
and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now
concentrate... what is two plus two?"
The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "4?"
"Did you say 4?!?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right.
At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on
coach, give him another chance!"
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| Posted by jc spencer on 14-Aug-2005 | Parachutist and the GolferWhat's the difference between a parachutist and a golfer?
A golfer goes WHAP..."damn" and a parachutist goes "damn"...WHAP!
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| Posted by deta H. van Hees on 14-Aug-2005 | God vs. Green BayBrett Favre, after living a full life, died. When he got to heaven, God
was showing him around.
They came to a modest little house with a faded Packers flag in the window.
"This house is yours for eternity, Brett," said God. "This is very
special; not everyone gets a house up here."
Brett felt special, indeed, and walked up to his house. On his way up the
porch, he noticed another house just around the corner. It was a 3-story
mansion with a Black and Gold sidewalk, 50 foot tall flagpole with an
enormous Steelers logo flag, and in every window, a terrible towel.
Brett looked at God and said "God, I'm not trying to be ungrateful, but I
have a question. I was an all-pro QB, I won the Super Bowl, and I even
went to the hall of fame."
God said "so what do you want to know, Brett?"
"Well, why does Kordell Stewart get a better house than me?"
God chuckled and said, "Brett, that's not Kordell Stewart's house, it's
mine."
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| Posted by Vikie Brighton on 14-Aug-2005 | The HookerAs the young couple prepare to go to bed on their wedding night, the groom
says to his bride, "Honey, I have a confession to make. I'm a golf addict.
I play whenever I have a minute. I can't get enough of it. you'll probably
never see me on the weekends."
His bride looked a little uneasy and then said, "Honey I have a confession
also...I'm a hooker."
"No problem." Replied the groom, "Just keep your left arm straight and
keep that head down. Yu'll be hitting them straight in no time."
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