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New bartender

A guy walks into a bar, and there's a horse behind the bar serving drinks. The guy is staring at the horse, when the horse says, "Hey buddy? What are you staring at? Haven't you ever seen a horse serving drinks before?"

The guy says, "No, it's not that... it's just that I never thought the parrot would sell the place."

9 people have rated this joke:

4.11/10


	():nerd jokes (650): What do you want to be when you grow up?

Posted by Nicole T on 13-Aug-2005

What do you want to be when you grow up?

Three children were being tutored, Billy Blue, William Orange and Fanny Green. One day, the tutor stopped and asked the children what they wanted to be when they grew up. Billy Blue said, "I want to be a milkman." William Orange said, "I want to be a postman". Fanny Green said "I want to be a stripper." The tutor was obviously shocked but thought, fair enough,.

Years later, Billy Blue and William Orange met up. Billy was a milkman and William was a postman. They decided to go to a stripper club. After a few minutes Billy said, "O my God, is that Fanny Green?" William replied, "Nah, it's just the lighting"

1 people have rated this joke:

4.00/10


	():nerd jokes (650): Airplane Crash

Posted by Barbra G. Tompson on 13-Aug-2005

Airplane Crash

There is report of a 2 seater private plane which crashed into a large cemetary.

The Fire Dept has reported recovering over 300 bodies and are still digging.....

2 people have rated this joke:

4.00/10


	():nerd jokes (650): Critical thinking on the farm

Posted by NINER on 13-Aug-2005

Critical thinking on the farm

Two stupid farmers had this mule that was a very hard worker. The only problem was every time they went to put the mule back in his stall, his ears would brush the top of the entrance and then the old mule would go nuts and kick everything. One day, the farmers decided to cut a opening in the top to prevent this from happening. While they were working, a neighbor stopped by and asked what they were doing, so they explained the problem. The neighbor suggested that they could save a lot of work and time if they simply took a shovel and dug the entrance down a little bit. The farmers thanked their neighbor and he drove off. Then the one farmer said to the other, 'Some stupid neighbor we have, it's not his feet that's too long, it's his ears!'

3 people have rated this joke:

4.00/10


	():nerd jokes (650): You should go home....

Posted by Jordan L. Lee on 07-Aug-2005

You should go home....

You should go home.

1 people have rated this joke:

4.00/10


	():nerd jokes (650): Speaking of being stuck on one address, my...

Posted by BILLY B. PLOTTER on 07-Aug-2005

Speaking of being stuck on one address, my...

Speaking of being stuck on one address, my professor once told this tale of misoptimization, quite possibly apocryphal. It seems these computer architects were looking to speed up their machine. They looked at their dynamic instruction counts and picked a branch instruction that was heavily used. After fixing the microcode they started up the system again and noticed NO improvement in speed. Turns out the branch was used by the idle loop in the scheduler. All they did was make the CPU spin its wheels faster.

1 people have rated this joke:

4.00/10