|
|
 |
|
 |
 |
| Posted by DeLio on 11-Aug-2005 | New Grocery Store HelperOne day, a little girl walked in to a grocery store. She asked someone at the grocery store, who coincedentally was new, if they had bacon. He said "I don't know, I don't know." So the little girl left. then the manager came and said to the new worker, "you don't say 'I don't know. I don't know. you say 'Yes we do. yes we do.'" the next day and old man walked in to the store. he asked, "Do you have any bacon?" and the same worker said "Yes we do. yes we do." then the old man asked, "How much is it?" and the worker said "I dont' know. i don't know." so the old man left. then the manager came back and said, "you don't say 'i don't know, i don't know.' you say '50 cents, 50 cents.'" the next day a teenage boy came to the store. he asked the worker, "do you have any bacon?" and the worker said "yes we do, yes we do." then the boy asked, "how much is it?" and the worker said "50 cents, 50 cents." then the boy asked, "Is it fresh?" and the worker said "I dont' know, i don't know." the boy left. then the manager came and said "You don't say 'i don't know, i don't know.' you say 'very very fresh, very very fresh.'" the next day a young woman walked into the store. she asked the worker, "do you have bacon?" and the worker said "Yes we do, yes we do." then she asked "How much is it?" and the worker said "50 cents, 50 cents." then the woman asked "is it fresh?" and the worker said "very very fresh, very very fresh." then the lady asked "is it on sale?" and the worker said "i don't know, i don't know." so the lady left. the manager came and said, "you don't say 'i don't know, i don't know,' you say 'not today, maybe tomorrow.'" the next day two criminals came. they asked "do you have money?" and the worker said "yes we do, yes we do." then the criminals asked "how much?" and the worker said "50 cents, 50 cents." then one of the criminals asked, "are you being fresh with me?" and the worker said "very very fresh, very very fresh." then the criminals asked, "can we kill you?" and the worker said "not today, maybe tomorrow."
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
 |
 |
 |
 |
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Krystal on 11-Aug-2005 | CakeThe corner shop baker was a true artist when it came to making birthday cakes. One customer asked him "can you make a birthday cake for my wife, she's an optician?" He agreed and produced a birthday cake in the perfect detail of a winking eye.
His next customer said " can you make a birthday cake for my husband, he's a dentist." He agreed and produced a cake in the shape of an open mouth, including the teeth and tongue.
At that moment another customer began to leave his shop, when the baker asked "can I help you?" The lady turned and said"no, I don't think so,it's my husband birthday today, but he's a gynaecologist".
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Super Man on 11-Aug-2005 | Hot MealTwo hobo's are walking down railroad tracks, haven't eaten in a couple days, and are starving. Ahead of them, lying on the tracks, is a dead buzzard....maggots crawling all over the badly decomposed bird...green flies swarming the stinking mass. Stopping to stare at the smelly thing, one hobo says, "Let's eat this bastard." The other hobo says, "Naw, I'm gonna wait and have a HOT meal." The first hobo replies, "Well, I'm too damned hungry to wait, I'm eatin' this fuckin' buzzard". The second hobo says, "Suit yourself, but I ain't waitin' on you", and starts down the tracks again. Ravenously, the first hobo begins stuffing the rotton bird into his mouth. After licking the last maggot from his lips, he looks down the tracks and sees his buddy....by now about a mile away... and takes off running to catch up. After running 10 minutes in the hot August sun, the hobo catches up to his buddy.....sweating...panting....stomach churning from the rotten buzzard he'd just eaten. Suddenly he begins to puke....every bit of the rotten buzzard is now laying in a putrid mass on the tracks. The second hobo smiles at the first hobo and says, "See?? I told you I was gonna wait for a HOT meal".
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Nutter Pupper on 11-Aug-2005 | The newest vitaminThe newest vitamin is made from chicken soup. It makes men cocky and
women lay better.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by Rhonda A. Arnold on 11-Aug-2005 | The magical fruitOne day a guy was driving home from work urging for baked beans.After so long he finally went into a nearby restaurant and ate 5 servings of beans.He drove home and his wife told him she had a surprise for him,so she blindfolded him.Just then the phone rang and the wife went to get it but said whatever you do, dont peek and sat him at the dining room table.The guy noticed the beans satrted to have an affect.He lifted up his leg and let out a big one.He kept farting and finally the wife got off the phoine.She walked into the dining room and said .....whats that smell?.......It was time for his surprise so the wife took off his blind fold and there were guests all around the table for his birthday.
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
| Posted by rochy on 11-Aug-2005 | Balince dietQ:What is a balince diet?
A:The same amont of cokies in each hand!
|
0 people have rated this joke: |
|
|
| |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
