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| Posted by Joe Brey on 10-Aug-2005 | "Next!"Q: What's the mating call of the redhead?
A: "Next!"
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| Posted by Ivan Borka on 10-Aug-2005 | Isakoff and Ice CreamWhat do Isakoff and Ice Cream have in common?
Both get scooped regularly
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| Posted by Twiggy Ramirez on 10-Aug-2005 | EMERGENCY EXITOne night, a Delta twin-engine puddle jumper was flying somewhere above New
Jersey. There were five people on board: the pilot, Michael Jordan, George W.
Bush, the Dali Lama, and a hippie. Suddenly, an illegal oxygen generator
exploded loudly in the luggage compartment, and the passenger cabin began to
fill with smoke. The cockpit door opened, and the pilot burst into the
compartment.
"Gentlemen," he began, "I have good news and bad news. The bad
news is that we're about to crash in New Jersey. The good news is that there are
four parachutes, and I have one of them!" With that, the pilot threw open the
door and jumped from the plane.
Michael Jordan was on his feet in a flash. "Gentlemen," he said, "I am the
world's greatest athlete. The world needs great athletes. I think the world's
greatest athlete should have a parachute!" With these words, he grabbed one of
the remaining parachutes, and hurtled through the door and into the night.
George W. Bush rose and said, "Gentlemen, I am supposed to be the President of
the U.S. The world needs leaders, and I think leaders should have a parachute,
too." He grabbed one, and out he jumped.
The Dali Lama and the hippie looked at one another. Finally, the Dali Lama
spoke. "My son," he said, "I have lived a satisfying life and have known the
bliss of True Enlightenment. You have your life ahead of you; you take a
parachute, and I will go down with the plane."
The hippie smiled slowly and said, "Hey, don't worry. The supposed leader of
the free world just jumped out wearing my backpack."
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| Posted by Joon Yoon on 10-Aug-2005 | AnagramsAn Anagram, as you all know, is a word or phrase made by transposing or
rearranging the letters of another word or phrase. The following are
exceptionally clever. Someone out there either has way too much time to waste or
is deadly at Scrabble. When you rearrange the letters:
Dormitory .................................. Dirty Room
Evangelist................................. Evil's Agent
Desperation.............................. A Rope Ends It
The Morse Code..................... Here Come Dots
Slot Machines......................... Cash Lost in 'em
Animosity................................ Is No Amity
Mother-in-law..........................Woman Hitler
Snooze Alarms........................ Alas! No More Z's
Alec Guinness......................... Genuine Class
Semolina................................... Is No Meal
The Public Art Galleries......... Large Picture Halls, I Bet
A Decimal Point...................... I'm a Dot in Place
The Earthquakes.................... That Queer Shake
Eleven plus two..................... Twelve plus one
Contradiction......................... Accord not in it
PRESIDENT CLINTON OF THE USA......................... TO COPULATE HE FINDS
INTERNS
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| Posted by Ciara Blaze on 10-Aug-2005 | She slipped off and fell down the drain.What happened to the blonde tap dancer?
She slipped off and fell down the drain.
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| Posted by Jezz on 10-Aug-2005 | 4 quartersTwo hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he
has to take a dump. "well, go in the bushes."
"what should i use to wipe my ass?"
"use a dollar bill."
a few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with s*** all over his
hands.
"what happened?" asks his friend.
"i didn't have a dollar bill, so i used four quarters."
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