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| Posted by William G. Jenkins on 10-Aug-2005 | No RejectsA prostitute visited a colleague in the hospital just before she was about to
have a heart transplant.
Concerned about her friend's welfare, the prostitute went up to the surgeon
and said, "Doctor, I'm worried about my friend. What if her body rejects the
organ?"
The doctor replied, "Well, she's 34 years old and is in extremely good health,
apart from her heart. How long has she been in the business?"
The patient's friend replied, "She's been working since she was 18 years old,
but what's that got to do with anything?"
"Well," said the doctor, "if she's been working for 16 years and hasn't
rejected an organ, I don't think she's about to start now!"
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| Posted by Boo on 10-Aug-2005 | Height of LazinessWhat is the height of laziness?
Adoption.
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| Posted by Thomas H. Mitchell on 12-Aug-2005 | Telepath wantedHelp Wanted: Telepath.
You know where to apply.
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| Posted by Lees on 13-Aug-2005 | Indiehow do you turn indian men off?
press the red dot.
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| Posted by Dan Berkowitz on 09-Aug-2005 | Murphy's Laws /Murphys 1st Law: If anything can go wrong, it will Murphys 2nd Law: Nothing is as easy as it looks Murphys 3rd Law: Everything takes longer than you think Murphys 4th Law: If theres a possibility of several things going wrong, the one that will cause the most damage will. Murphys 5th Law: Whenever you set out to do something, something else must be done first Murphys 6th Law: Every solution breeds a new problem Murphys 7th Law: Its immposible to make something foolproof as fools are so ingenious. Murphys 8th Law: Nature always sides with the hidden flaw. Murphys 9th Law: Left to themselves things tend to go from bad to worse Murphys 10th Law: When things just cant get any worse, they will
O'Toole's Law: Murphy was an opptomist.
Forsythes Corollary to Murphys Law: Just when you see the light at the end of the tunnel, the roof caves in.
The Unspeakable Law: As soon as you mention something if its good it will go away, if it is bad it wil happen
Non-Reciprocal Law of Expectations: Negative expectations yield negative results, positive expectations yield negative results
Etorres Observation: The other queue always moves faster
Barths Distinction: There are two types of people. Those who divide people into 2 types of people, and those who dont.
Segals Law: A man with 1 watch always knows what time it is, a man with 2 is never sure
Fabers 4th Law: Nessesity is the mother of strange bedfellows
Simons Law: Everything put together sooner or later falls apart
Scotts 1st Law: No matter what goes wrong, it will probably look right Scotts 2nd Law: When an error has been detected and corrected it will be found to have been correct in the first place
Finagles Law: Once a job has been fowled up, almost everything done to improve it only makes it worse.
Buggings Law: A man that can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone he can blame it on
Gumpersons Law: The probability of anything happening is the inverse of its desirability
Stockmayers Law: If it looks easy it is tough, if it looks tough it is immposible
Hofstadters Law: It always takes longer than you expect, even when you take Hofstadters law into account
Any horse which has won all of its races will lose as soon as you bet on it
Agnes Allens Law: Almost anything is easier to get into than out of.
Andersons Law: I have yet to see any problems however complicated which, when you looked at it the right way didnt become more complicated
Borens guidlines for bureacracy: When in charge, ponder; when in trouble, delegate; when in doubt, mumble
Corcorans Law: All papers that you keep will never be needed until you dispose of them, when they become essential
Jonses Law: Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate
Johnsons Law of Car Repair: Any tool dropped while repairing a car will role under the vehicle to the exact geographical center
Wolfs Law: Those who dont study the past will repeat its errors, those who do study it will find new ones.
Also contrary to other thoughts Coles Law is not a life law at all, it is slices cabbage.
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