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| Posted by Sabri Al-Safi on 11-Aug-2005 | No Tie - Oh WellTwo guys decide to go to a newer restaurant they had been hearing good things about.
Upon being greeted at the front door they were promptly informed that they would not be allowed to enter since neither of them had a tie on.
While walking back to the car the driver remembers that there was a tie he had left in the trunk some time back.
He opens the trunk and sure enough - He finds the tie, his friend says - Well - what about me?
While the first guy is putting his tie on, He jokes to the other - why not just wrap those jumper cables around your neck - and for whatever reason the second guy agrees.
They walk back in and the host says: "Alright guys - your catching me in a good mood, I'll go ahead and seat you - but you listen good.
You two better not start nothin!"
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| Posted by rick close on 11-Aug-2005 | Gold jokeFive men were selecter for a survey. They were taken away to a hotel called the goldings. There they found the place covered top to bottom in golden fittnigs and furnishings, the doors were gold , the floor was gold , the roof was gold , the stairs were gold .Every thing in the lobby was gold.
They were shown to there rooms by a maid , she had golden hair , golden dress , golden tights , golden shoes , golden piney and a golden hat. She shown each man in to his room.
The rooms were decorated in yet more gold. Golden beds , golden pillows , golden windows, golden toothbrushes , golden chocolates, golden soap, golden bathrobes, golden pictures .
They woke up that morning to have a bath in a golden bath with golden taps , golden mirrors , golden tiles and a golden toilet.
They were led to the golden diningroom via the golden staircase. The dining room was exquist. Golden walls , golden chairs, golden table goldrn knives and falks , golden spoons and a golden table cloth.
Theh golden maids came in and asked if they would like cerial or poridge for breakfast , while the men talked about how plush the place was.
The first man asked for poridge , as did the second third and forth , the fith asked for cerial.
and ladies and gentialmen this proves that 4 in 5 men prefur poridge!
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():food jokes (113): Constantly complaining about the temperature |
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| Posted by katy m on 13-Aug-2005 | Microsoft WaiterPatron: Waiter!
Waiter: Hi, my name is Bill, and I'll be your Support Waiter. What seems to be the problem?
Patron: There's a fly in my soup!
Waiter: Try again, maybe the fly won't be there this time.
Patron: No, it's still there.
Waiter: Maybe it's the way you're using the soup; try eating it with a fork instead.
Patron: Even when I use the fork, the fly is still there.
Waiter: Maybe the soup is incompatible with the bowl; what kind of bowl are you using?
Patron: A SOUP bowl!
Waiter: Hmmm, that should work. Maybe it's a configuration problem; how was the bowl set up?
Patron: You brought it to me on a saucer; what has that to do with the fly in my soup?!
Waiter: Can you remember everything you did before you noticed the fly in your soup?
Patron: I sat down and ordered the Soup of the Day!
Waiter: Have you considered upgrading to the latest Soup of the Day?
Patron: You have more than one Soup of the Day each day?
Waiter: Yes, the Soup of the Day is changed every hour.
Patron: Well, what is the Soup of the Day now?
Waiter: The current Soup of the Day is tomato.
Patron: Fine. Bring me the tomato soup, and the check. I'm running late now.
[Waiter leaves and returns with another bowl of soup and the check]
Waiter: Here you are, Sir. The soup and your check.
Patron: This is potato soup.
Waiter: Yes, the tomato soup wasn't ready yet.
Patron: Well, I'm so hungry now, I'll eat anything.
[The waiter leaves.]
Patron: Waiter! There's a gnat in my soup!
The check:
Soup of the Day . . . . . . . . . . $5.00
Upgrade to newer Soup of the Day. . $2.50
Access to support . . . . . . . . . $1.00
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| Posted by Stockers on 11-Aug-2005 | Food + waterDeciding to eat healthier breakfasts, my brother-in-law declared that oatmeal would now be his cereal of choice. But after eating his first bowl, he told my sister, "I hope I develop a taste for the stuff. It goes down real rough."
"Well," she asked, "how long did you cook it?"
"You're supposed to cook it?" he said.
A man goes to the doctor and tells him that he hasn't been feeling well. The doctor examines him, leaves the room and comes back with three different bottles of pills.
The doctor says, "Take the green pill with a big glass of water when you get up. Take the blue pill with a big glass of water after lunch. Then just before going to bed, take the red pill with another big glass of water."
Startled to be put on so much medicine the man stammers, "My goodness, doc, exactly what's my problem?"
Doctor says, "You're not drinking enough water."
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| Posted by Shiiro M. Ecker on 09-Aug-2005 | The results of a studyAbout 85% of women are responsible for cooking the family dinner, and 84% wish they didn't have to.
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