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Norm Peterson's Famous Quotes (from TV's 'Cheers')

Norm Peterson's Famous Quotes (from TV's 'Cheers')
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'Can I draw you a beer, Norm ?'
'No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one.'

'How's a beer sound, Norm?'
'I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in.'

'What's shaking, Norm?'
'All four cheeks and a couple of chins.'

'What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?'
'Going Down?'

'What's new, Normie?'
'Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach and they're
demanding beer.'

'What'll it be, Normie?'
'Just the usual, Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel.'

'What would you say to a beer, Normie?'
'Daddy wuvs you.'

'What'd you like, Normie?'
'A reason to live. Give me another beer.'

'What'll you have, Normie?'
'Well, I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a
glass of whatever comes out of that tap.'
'Looks like beer, Norm.'
'Call me Mister Lucky.'

'What'd you say, Norm?'
'Any cheap, tawdry thing that will get me a beer.'

'What would you say to a beer, Norm?'
'Hiya, sailor. New in town?'

(Coming in from the rain)
'Evening, everybody.'
Everybody: 'Norm!'
'Still pouring, Norm?'
'That's funny, I was about to ask you the same thing.'

'Whaddya say, Norm?'
'Well, I never met a beer I didn't drink.'

'Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?'
'Like a baby treats a diaper.'

'Would you like a beer, Mr. Peterson?'
'No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass.'

'How's life treating you?'
'It's not, Sammy, but you can.'

'What's the story, Mr. Peterson?'
'The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery. Let's cut to the happy
ending.'

'Hey Mr. Peterson, there's a cold one waiting for you.'
'I know. If she calls, I'm not here.'

'Beer, Norm?'
'Have I gotten that predictable? Good.'

'What's going on, Mr. Peterson?'
'A flashing sign in my gut that says, 'Insert beer here.''

'Hey Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nipping at your nose?'
'Yep, now let's get Joe Beer nipping at my liver, huh?'

'What's going on, Mr. Peterson?'
'Another layer for the winter, Wood.'

'Whatcha up to, Norm?'
'My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall.'

'How's it going, Mr. Peterson?'
'Poor.'
'I'm sorry to hear that.'
'No, I mean pour.'

'How's life treating you Norm?'
'Like it caught me sleeping with its wife.'

'Women. Can't live with 'em....pass the beer nuts.'

'What's going down, Normie?'
'My butt cheeks on that bar stool.'

'Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?'
'Alright, but stop me at one....make that one-thirty.'

'How's it going, Mr. Peterson?'
'It's a dog eat dog world, Woody, and I'm wearing
Milk Bone underwear.'

'What's the story, Norm?'
'Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer.'

'How's about a beer, Norm?'
'That's that amber sudsy stuff, right?
I've heard good things about it!'

'What's going on, Mr. Peterson?'
'The question is 'what's going in, Mr. Peterson?'
A beer please, Woody.'

'Can I pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson?'
'A little early isn't it, Woody?'
'For a beer?'
'No, for stupid questions.'

1 people have rated this joke:

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	():funny quotes (263): Homer Simpson

Posted by Carrie Sparton on 14-Aug-2005

Homer Simpson

"What are you gonna do then? Let out the dogs? or the bees? or dogs with
bees in their mouths and when they bark they shoot bees at you?"

"My son, when you are in a sport, it isn't about winning or loosing..it's
about how drunk you gets"

"Bart, a woman is excactly like a beer. They look good, they smell good,
and you would kill your own mother to get one"

"Kill my boss?! Do I really dare to live out the american dream?"

"Heh Heh Heh! Lisa! Vampires are just made up, just like fearies, trolls
and eskimos."

"Ohh, I love your newspaper. Especially the part with 'increase your
vocabulary'. I find it very...very...very...good."

"Miss! Give me the number to 911!"

15 people have rated this joke:

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	():funny quotes (263): "I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort...

Posted by Sumit W. Khan on 07-Aug-2005

"I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort...

"I squeezed that sperm till a strange sort of insanity came over me"

- Herman Melville

1 people have rated this joke:

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	():funny quotes (263): "I'm desperately trying to figure out why...

Posted by Sun -. Shine on 07-Aug-2005

"I'm desperately trying to figure out why...

"I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets."

- Dave Edison

4 people have rated this joke:

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	():funny quotes (263): George S. Paton

Posted by jarrod baimbridge on 14-Aug-2005

George S. Paton

The object of war is not to die for your county! It's to make the other
bastard die for his! Now go kick some German ass!
--General George S. Paton

3 people have rated this joke:

9.67/10


	():funny quotes (263): "One of the curious effects of a bad hangover...

Posted by Nate M. F on 07-Aug-2005

"One of the curious effects of a bad hangover...

"One of the curious effects of a bad hangover is that you think you're wrong whether you are or not. Not wrong in particulars, but wrong in general, wrong about everything."