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| Posted by breann on 12-Aug-2005 | Obscene Phone Calls.Dave was a bit of a nut who enjoyed making obscene phone calls.
His biggest pleasure is making such calls to kindergarten teachers.
He'll find a lonely telephone booth, dial the number of a teacher, and exclaim -
"Is this Mrs. Jones, the kindergarten teacher at P.S. 41?"
When the teacher answers yes, Dave goes into his act...
"Wee-ee, poo-poo ca-ca!"
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| Posted by Stephanie S. De Melo on 12-Aug-2005 | Little Johnny Answers.The teacher was conducting a class in nutrition and asked the class to name four qualities of mohter's milk.
Little Johnny pipes up and says, "I know teacher!"
Number One: It's fresh.
Number Two: It's nutritious.
Number Three: I't served at just the right temperature.
And Number Four: It comes in a cool container!
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| Posted by Erik Ingbritsen on 12-Aug-2005 | Traveling Saleman.Mr. Jones, upon returning from a business trip was shocked to find his wife in bed with a stranger. The nude stranger was sprawled over the bed asleep.
"You rotten bastard!" yelled the husband..."I'm going to kill you!"
"Wait!, said Mrs. Jones".
You know that fur coat I got last winter?
Well, he gave it to me.
And that diamond ring we sold for $1000's?
Well, he gave it to me.
And remember when we couldn't aford a new car and I came home one day with a brand new chevy? Well, he gave it to me.
After hearing all this, Mr. Jones exclaims...
"For heaven sake woman, it's drafty in here."
"Cover him so he doesn't catch cold!"
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| Posted by brandon m on 12-Aug-2005 | CheerleadersWhats the most embrassing thing for a cheerleader?
When she does the splits and 8 class rings fall out!
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| Posted by JERRY WIGGINS on 12-Aug-2005 | Out of bounds.On the first day of college, the Dean addressed the students, pointing out some of the rules:
"The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, and the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time."
He continued, "Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?"
At this point, a male student in the crowd inquired:
"How much for a season pass?"
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| Posted by Martin Riggs on 12-Aug-2005 | English LessonThe teacher of the fourth grade class was giving an English lesson:
"All right class, I want everyone to write a sentence which starts with a question and ends with an answer and has the words possible and definite in it!"
All at once, young Johnny's hand shot up.
"Miss! Miss!" called Johnny.
"Write it down, Johnny!" said the teacher.
" ... But Miss! Miss! Miss!" Johnny intoned.
"I said write it down!" exclaimed the teacher who was now quite peeved.
"Miss! Miss!" called Johnny once more.
"Okay, Johnny. I give up. What is it?"
"Is it possible that farts have lumps in them?"
"No!" said the startled teacher.
"Then I have definitely shit myself!"
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