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| Posted by Betsy on 11-Aug-2005 | Ode To BeanThere was a young girl named Maxine
Who found a new use for the bean.
As a vaginal bearing
She found it long-wearing,
And it varied her fucking routine.
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| Posted by ryanstilesgirl on 09-Aug-2005 | Improving fry cooking timeIn January 1994, 'The Economist' magazine reported that one of Secretary of Energy Hazel O'Leary's success stories about government research scientists hired out for civilian business uses was the Argonne National Laboratory's helping McDonald's to find a way to speed up french frying. A team headed by physicist Tuncer Kuzay, who interrupted his work on advanced photons, placed sensors inside the frozen fries and was able to design special frying baskets to deal with the effect of steam created by melting ice crystals and to cut 30 to 40 seconds off each batch's frying time.
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():food jokes (113): A practical joke involving jello |
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| Posted by J W on 09-Aug-2005 | A practical joke involving jelloHere's a delightful treat someone once made for an office Christmas party:
A gelatin mold should be made with Knox Unflavored Gelatin and red food coloring. One would think that a flavorless food would not be at all difficult to swallow, but believe me, from the looks of people who inserted cold masses of gelatinous glop into a mouth that was expecting sweets, the experience is unexplainably horrifying! Some claimed to be nauseated by the feel of it; others politely swallowed.
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| Posted by Lewis W. Winn on 09-Aug-2005 | Food one-linerThe snack bar next door to an atom smasher was called "The Fission Chips."
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| Posted by Veronica R. Williams on 09-Aug-2005 | Food one-linerA friend got some vinegar in his ear, now he suffers from pickled hearing.
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| Posted by Jessica Y. Jordan on 09-Aug-2005 | A great fruit cake recipieYou'll need the following: a cup of water, a cup of sugar, four large eggs, two cups of dried fruit, a teaspoon of baking soda, a teaspoon of salt, a cup of brown sugar, lemon juice, nuts, and a bottle of whisky.
Sample the whisky to check for quality.
Take a large bowl. Check the whisky again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer, beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar and beat again.
Make sure the whisky is still okay. Cry another tup. Turn off the mixer. Break two leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver.
Sample the whisky to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who cares? Check the whisky. Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Spoon. Of sugar or something. Whatever you can find.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin to 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Throw the bowl out of the window, check the whisky again and go to bed.
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