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Of Elephants and Marshmallows

Why did the elephant stand on the marshmallow?

Because he didn't want to fall into the hot chocolate

5 people have rated this joke:

5.40/10


	():animal jokes (1719): The Bad Parrot

Posted by Notum on 14-Aug-2005

The Bad Parrot

Once there was this old man who was lonely. So he went to the
pet store to get a dog. But they were out of dogs and wern't
going to get any more until the next millnium! So the man got a
parrot. But the store owner worrined him. "The first 3 phrases
he hears and likes he will remember."
The man brought the parrot home and some boys were climbing in
the old man's tree. "Get down from there or I'll call the
police." said the old man. The kids said"Baloney, baloney,
baloney." and the parrot repeated it.
The next day the old man tok his parrot rock climbing. Someone's
climbing partner fell into a hole and he yelled "get a rope pull
him up" and the parrot repeated it.
The next day the old man brought the parrot to a carnival. The
parrot heard someone yell, "Hit the black doll and win a prize."
and the parrot repeated it.
The next day was Sunday and the man brought the parrot to
church. The preacher began his preaching. "God lives up there."
"Baloney, baloney, baloney" yelled the parrot. The preacher
looked at him but continued. "The devil lives down there." And
the parrot yelled "Get a rope pull him up." The preacher through
the Bible at the parrot but it hit a nun and the parrot yelled
"Hit a black doll and win a prize."

1 people have rated this joke:

5.00/10


	():animal jokes (1719): Peguines at the beach

Posted by Dinesh SJ on 13-Aug-2005

Peguines at the beach

So, two peguins went to the beach...and one says,"Hey, you wanna go swimming?" and the other one says,"What do I look like...A COW?!"

2 people have rated this joke:

5.00/10


	():animal jokes (1719): Dog with no nose.

Posted by Krazy Kin Kid on 14-Aug-2005

Dog with no nose.

Lindsey:Are dog has no nose
Susie:Poor Dog,How does he smell
Lindsey:Awww,Terrible.

4 people have rated this joke:

4.75/10


	():animal jokes (1719): With a monkey wrench!

Posted by Ulax B. Cool on 10-Aug-2005

With a monkey wrench!

Q: How do you fix a broken chimp?
A: With a monkey wrench!

3 people have rated this joke:

4.67/10


	():animal jokes (1719): Gorilla and the Lion

Posted by Candy baby on 13-Aug-2005

Gorilla and the Lion

A male gorilla at the zoo had been separated from his mate for several months and was really horny. One night after the zoo had closed and all the animal keepers had left, he decided he was going to tear the bars apart and screw the first thing he could find. As he left his cage and ran through the zoo he came upon a lion sleeping in the grass. He really wasn't thrilled with his find but since he had promised himself he would take the first thing he could get, he grabbed the lion and screwed it.

Just as the gorilla finished, the lion awoke and was really pissed. The lion started chasing the gorilla through the zoo and was beginning to gain on him. The gorilla turned a corner and saw a park bench with a newspaper on it. Thinking quickly, the gorilla sat down on the bench and held the newspaper in front of him like he was reading it. When the lion turned the corner he stopped at the park bench. Not knowing what was behind the newspaper he asked the reader if he had seen a gorilla run by.

From behind the paper, the gorilla said, 'You mean the one that screwed the lion?' The lion shook his head and shouted, 'Oh no! It's already in the papers!'

3 people have rated this joke:

4.67/10