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| Posted by Emily W. on 10-Aug-2005 | On the RangeA female newscaster is interviewing the leader of a youth club:
Interviewer: "So, Mr. Jones, what are you going to do with these children on
this adventure holiday?"
Mr. Jones: "We're going to teach them climbing, canoeing, archery, and
shooting."
Interviewer: "Shooting! That's a bit irresponsible, isn't it?"
Mr. Jones: "I don't see why, they'll be properly supervised on the range."
Interviewer: "Don't you admit that this is a terribly dangerous activity to be
teaching children?"
Mr. Jones: "I don't see how, we will be teaching them proper range discipline
before they even touch a firearm."
Interviewer: "But you're equipping them to become violent killers."
Mr. Jones: "Well, you're equipped to be a prostitute but you're not one, are
you?"
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():little johnny (1883): Top Five Lies Told by Teaching Assistants |
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| Posted by David Ashton on 10-Aug-2005 | Top Five Lies Told by Teaching Assistants5. I'm not going to grant any extensions.
4. Call me any time. I'm always available.
3. It doesn't matter what I think; write what you believe.
2. Think of the midterm as a diagnostic tool.
1. My other section is much better prepared than you guys.
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| Posted by Krista N. Andrson on 10-Aug-2005 | Getting old...Your potted plants stay alive.
Having sex in a twin-sized bed is absurd.
You keep more food than beer in the fridge.
6:00 AM is when you get up, not when you go to sleep.
You hear your favorite song on the elevator at work.
You carry an umbrella.
You watch the Weather Channel.
Your friends marry and divorce instead of hookup and breakup.
You go from 130 days of vacation time to 7.
Jeans and a sweater no longer qualify as 'dressed up'
older relatives feel comfortable telling sex jokes around you.
You don't know what time Taco Bell closes anymore.
Your car insurance goes down and your car payments go up.
You feed your dog Science Diet instead of McDonalds.
Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.
you no longer take naps from noon to 6 p.m.
Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of one.
MTV News is no longer your primary source for information.
You go to the drugstore for Ibuprofen and antacids, not condoms and pregnancy
test kits.
A $4.00 bottle of wine is no longer 'pretty good stuff'.
You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.
Grocery lists are longer than macaroni & cheese, diet Pepsi & ho-ho's
'I just can't drink the way I used to' replaces 'I'm never going to drink that
much again'
Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real work.
You don't get liquored up at home, to save money, before going to a bar.
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| Posted by Kenneth Tai on 10-Aug-2005 | Hide and seekMr & Mrs Levy had two sons. They were brothers, of course. One brother was
called MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS and the other brother was called TROUBLE.
One day, the two brothers were playing hide and seek in the street and it was
TROUBLE??™s turn to hide. While MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS was counting to 100,
TROUBLE ran down the street and hid inside a thick hedge.
Then MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS started looking for his brother. He looked behind
some trees, he looked inside some cars parked in the street and he even looked
under the cars, but he couldn??™t find his brother. But when MIND YOUR OWN
BUSINESS started to look inside dustbins, a policeman saw him doing this and
came over to have a word with him.
The policeman said, ???And what, may I ask, are you doing little boy????
And the boy replied, ???Playing a game.???
The policeman then asked, ???What??™s your name????
And the boy replied, ???MIND YOUR OWN BUSINESS.???
The Policeman got angry and said loudly, ???Are you looking for trouble????
And the boy replied, ???Yes.???
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| Posted by Andy Duraaaaaaaaaaaan on 10-Aug-2005 | Bees hair???Mummy,??? says little Issy, ???Why do bees have sticky hair????
???Because they use honeycombs.???
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| Posted by dave j. lochner on 10-Aug-2005 | The storytellerOne day, Hannah the teacher is reading out loud to her class the story of
Chicken Little. Hannah soon reads out the bit where Chicken Little tries to warn
the farmer. ???So Chicken Little went over to the farmer and said, ???the sky is
falling, the sky is falling.???
Hannah then asks her class, "What do you think the farmer then said?"
Little Moshe raises his hand. "I think he said, ???Goodness, a talking chicken."
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