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():animal jokes (1719): One day in the backwoods of West Hollywood... |
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| Posted by Smart Fool on 10-Aug-2005 | One day in the backwoods of West Hollywood...One day in the back woods of West Hollywood, a giant bear was chasing little
rabbit.
"Stop running and get back here!" yelled the bear.
"Never!" shouted the rabbit.
Well as the rabbit was running he tripped on a lamp. His soft furry foot
brushed the lamp and out popped a genie.
The genie noticed the frightened rabbit was being chased by the bear.
The genie said to the bear,"Hey! If you stop chasing him I'll grant you and
the rabbit both two wishes!"
The bear agreed and was so eager he jumped to go first. He said, "I wish that
a had the biggest penis in the world!"
*Poof!* and his wish was granted.
The rabbit went next, "I wish I had a super fast motorcycle!"
*Poof* and the rabbit's wish was granted.
The bear looked at the rabbit and thought, "What a lame wish!"
For his final wish, the bear smirked as he wished that all the other bears in
the world were female.
*Poof* his wish was granted.
The rabbit jumped on his motorcycle, revved the engine and laughed.
Just before he booked out of there he said, "I wish the bear was gay!"
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1 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Heather Iannaccio on 12-Aug-2005 | Battered FishQ.Do you know what happened to the fish that was taking a stroll through the Bronx?
A.He got Battered
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2 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by jeanine k. kivimaki on 08-Aug-2005 | The Brown and White Cows!There was a farmer who had a brown cow and a white cow and he wanted to get them bred, so borrowed his neighbor's bull and turned it loose in the pasture.
He told his son to watch and come in and tell him when the bull was finished.
"Yeah daddy, yeah daddy," said the little boy.
After a while the boy came into the living where his father was talking with some friends.
"Say, Pop," said the boy.
"Yes," replied his father.
"The bull just screwed the brown cow!"
There was a sudden lull in the conversation. The father said "Excuse me" and took his son outside.
"Son, you mustn't use language like that in front of company. You should say 'The bull "surprised" the brown cow'. Now go and watch and tell me when the bull "surprises" the white cow."
The father went back inside the house.
After a while the boy came in and said, "Hey, Daddy!"
"Yes, son. Did the bull "surprise" the white cow?"
"He sure did, Pop! He screwed the brown cow again!"
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1 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Mo Jo on 12-Aug-2005 | Ducks love grapesA duck walks into a convenience store. He asks the man at the counter, "You got any grapes?"
Guy at the counter says, "No, we don't have any grapes."
Duck says "okay." and he leaves.
The next day the duck comes back in and says "You got any grapes?"
The man once again replies, "No! We do not have any grapes."
The duck says "Okay." and he leaves.
The third day the duck walks in again and asks, "You got any grapes?"
The man is very annoyed and says, "No! For the last time, we do NOT have any grapes. If you come in here again and ask for grapes, I'm gonna nail your bill to the floor!"
The duck replies "Okay," and leaves.
The fourth day the duck returns once again and asks, "You got any nails?"
The man at the counter says "No."
The duck says, "Well then, you got any grapes?"
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1 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Jude Hey on 11-Aug-2005 | Dead FishLittle Tim was in the garden filling in a hole when his neighbor peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was up to, he politely asked, "Whatcha doing, Tim?"
"My goldfish died," replied the boy tearfully, without looking up. "And I've just buried him."
The neighbor was concerned. "That's an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn't it?"
Tim patted down the last heap of earth then replied, "That's because he's inside your cat."
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7 people have rated this joke: |
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| Posted by Gertrude P. Catuna on 08-Aug-2005 | Dog Property Laws1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. If its in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
6. If its mine, it must never appear to be yours anyway.
7. If it just looks like mine, its mine.
8. If I saw it first, its mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If its broken, its yours.
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5 people have rated this joke: |
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