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| Posted by Mindy L. Haag on 10-Aug-2005 | One-Armed ManQ: How do you get a one-armed man out of a tree?
A: wave at him.
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| Posted by Bruce D. Ragusa on 12-Aug-2005 | Baking humorVeteran Pillsbury spokesman, Pop N. Fresh, died yesterday of a severe yeast
infection. He was 71. Known to friends as "Brown-n-Serve," Fresh was an
avid gardener and tennis player. Fresh was buried in one of the largest
funeral ceremonies in recent years.
Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the
California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Aunt Jemima, Betty Crocker, the Hostess
Twinkies, and Skippy.
The graveside was piled high with flours as longtime friend, Aunt Jemima,
delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew how much
he was kneaded."
Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with
many turnovers. He was not considered a very smart cookie, wasting much
of his dough on half-baked schemes -- conned by those who buttered him up.
Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model for millions. He
enjoyed being prodded by his many friends who invariably poked fun at
him.
Fresh is survived by his second wife. They have two children and another
bun in the oven.
The funeral was held at 3:50 for about 20 minutes.
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| Posted by sam bennett on 12-Aug-2005 | The cashierWell, one day, an idiot looking for a job finally came across a cigarette stand that was accepting anyone as there cashier. After being turned down for every job he filed for, he accepts this low paying job.
One day, a woman comes to the stand, "Hey, sonny, how much do those cigaretts cost?"
"I dont know", replies the stupid cashier.
The woman leaves unsatisfied.
THe boss, having seen this goes up to him and screams "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DONT KNOW, THEY COST 10 CENTS, GOD!!!!!!"
"10 cents? I will have to remember that" said the cashier.
The next day, another woman comes "hey sonny, how much do those cigaretts cost?"
"10 cents ma'am"
"Really?, are they fresh?"
"I dont know"
So the woman leaves.
The boss, having spied this screams "WELL OFCOURSE THEY ARE FRESH YOU NINCOMPOOP, WHAT DO YOU THINK? THEY ARE SOUR OR SOMETHING?"
So the cashier memorizes "Yes, very fresh"
The next day, another woman comes and says "Hey sonny, now much do those cigaretts cost?"
"10 cents" He replies.
"Are they fresh?"
"Very fresh"
"Should I buy them?"
"I dont know"
So the woman leaves.
The boss having seen this goes to scream at him again "YOU MORON, WHEN SOMEONE SAYS THAT, YOU HAVE TO SAY 'If you dont, somebody else will' OK?"
"ok, gotcha boss"
So the next day, the little shop gets robbed by a guy with a gun.
He goes up to the cash register and screams "HEY, how much money is in that cash register?" "10 cents sir"
"WHAT? ARE YOU BEING FRESH TO ME?"
"Yes, very fresh sir"
"SHOULD I SHOOT YOU?"
"If you dont, somebody else will"
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| Posted by Jayla M. McLeod on 12-Aug-2005 | Teachers(Q) why do teachers where dark glasses.
(A) because the pupils are so bright.
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| Posted by Pumpkin Pie on 12-Aug-2005 | Jelly beanslife is like a bag of jelly beans. no-one likes the black ones.
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| Posted by Alex Rubner on 12-Aug-2005 | Hunger painQ; Why when your hungry do you not feel like some foods?
.............................................................................A; Because you are not food your (hopefully) a human.
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