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| Posted by ryan phenicie on 12-Aug-2005 | Only in America!"Only in America":
...can a pizza get to your house faster than an ambulance.
...are there handicapped parking places in front of a skating rink.
...do people order double cheese burgers, a large fry, and a diet coke.
...do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
...do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and leave useless things and junk in boxes in the garage.
...do we use answering machines to screen calls and then have call waiting so we won't miss a call from someone we didn't want to talk to in the first place.
...do we buy hot dogs in packages of ten and buns in packages of eight.
...do we use the word "politics" to describe the process so well: "poli" in latin meaning "many" and "tics" meaning "blood-sucking creatures".
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| Posted by Josh J. Smith on 12-Aug-2005 | 12 Things NOT to Say if Pulled Over12. Hey, wasn't your daughter a porn queen?
11. I'm surprised you stopped me, Dunkin Donuts has a 3 for 1 special!
10. If I bend over, will I still get a ticket?
9. No, offi, offic, lucifer . . . I'm not as think you are drunk I am. I swear to dog.
8. No, I don't know how fast I was going. The little needle stops at 110 mph.
7. Back off, Barney, I've got a piece.
6. Want to race to the station, Sparky?
5. I know I was weaving, but I was trying to hit all the little green men!
4. On the way to the station let's get a six pack.
3. You'll never get those cuffs on me. . . You Homo!
2. Come on write the damn ticket, the bars close in 20 minutes!
1. No, YOU assume the position.
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| Posted by Heather M. Waloshuk on 12-Aug-2005 | Blowing BubblesIs that your head or is your neck blowing a bubble?
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| Posted by pookie dookie on 12-Aug-2005 | MindDon't let your mind wander too far.
It is too little to go out alone!
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| Posted by britt conrado on 12-Aug-2005 | At the store.You're so stupid, you got locked in a grocery store and starved!!
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| Posted by Jane F. Pane on 12-Aug-2005 | DisciplineLet a pig and a boy have everything they want, and you'll get a good pig and a bad boy.
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