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| Posted by Audrey Osterman on 12-Aug-2005 | OPERATIONAL EXCELLENCEOPERATIONAL EXCELLENCE?
Once upon a time, an American company and a Japanese company decided to have competitive boat race on the Bear River. Both teams practiced hard and long to reach their peak performance. On the big day, they both felt as ready as they could be.
The Japanese won by a mile! Afterwards the American Team became very discouraged by the losses and morale began to sag. Corporate management decided that the reason for the crushing defeat had to be found. A The "Continuous Improvement Team" was established to investigate the problem and to recommend appropriate corrective action.
THEIR CONCLUSION: The problem was that the Japanese Team had eight people rowing and one person steering, whereby the American Team had one person rowing and eight people steering.
The American Corporate Steering Committee immediately hired a consulting firm to do a study on the management structure. After some time and millions of dollars, the consulting firm concluded that too many people were steering and not were rowing.
To prevent losing to the Japanese again, the American Team's management structure was totally reorganized to three Steering Director, three Steering Managers, and two Steering Supervisors. Also a new performance system for the person rowing the boat was developed to give more incentive to work harder.
"We must give him empowerment and enrichment. That ought to do it."
The next year the Japanese won by two miles.
Humiliated, the American corporation laid off the rower to "cut costs, sold all of the paddles, canceled all capital investments for new equipment, halted development of a new canoe, gave a "Superior Performance" award to the consulting firm, and distributed the money saved as bonuses to the senior executives.
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| Posted by URBANDEVIL on 08-Aug-2005 | OmeletteThe teacher came into the class one day and said, "Students, today's assignment is to make a sentence using the word 'Omelette'".
I volunteered and said "That dude cussed me out but omelette it go instead of fighting about it!"
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| Posted by Ken Jackowitz on 10-Aug-2005 | Big handsTEACHER: If I had seven oranges in one hand and eight oranges in the other,
what would I have?
CLASS COMEDIAN: Big hands!
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| Posted by Kayli on 09-Aug-2005 | Ways to confuse a roommateThese are intended for entertainment purposes only. We do not advise that you ever do these things to a roommate or yourself.
87. Hang stuffed animals with nooses from your ceiling. Whenever you walk by them mutter, "You shouldn't have done that to me."
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| Posted by Devil of Heaven alright not funny but I'm a great critic on 14-Aug-2005 | High School ReunionI just returned from my fiftieth high school reunion. The Romans of Los Angeles Hi. Class of '48. The Marina Marriott was packed. Everyone was there.
We had changed little since we had last met ten years ago. Oh, we had aged a little. But there was no real change. We spent most of the time reminiscing on the good times we had during our high school days. What most of us remembered most vividly was the semester we were offered a class in Accounting.
This was an innovative experimental class that had never been tried before. And because of us, it has never been offered again. You see we were very independent teen-agers in those post-war days. We were interested in ideals about equality and the future, not in accounting.
... So we rapidly lost our interest and attacked the principal.
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():school humor (1428): The Top 18 Signs You're Pledging The Wrong Fraternity |
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| Posted by AcOuStIcFlAmEs on 14-Aug-2005 | The Top 18 Signs You're Pledging The Wrong Fraternity18> Three Words: Sigma Alpha Macarena.
17> Nobody joins in your armpit rendition of "Louie, Louie."
16> Each meeting turns into an argument between the two of you
about who gets to be president and who gets to be vice
president.
15> Every spring break: a bitchin' road trip to the Nixon
Library.
14> You're the ONLY minority to pledge Kappa Kappa Kappa.
13> A bunch of college guys sitting around knitting and
reading romance novels is just too damn weird.
12> Assembly room features a runway and posters of Dennis Rodman
in drag.
11> The secret handshake involves removing your pants.
10> Pledge week started with a shaved head and toga party,
but now you're selling flowers at the airport.
9> "Republican Convention?!? ROOOOAD
TRIIIIP!"
8> "Tropical Nights" party is authentic right down to
the malaria epidemic.
7> Initiation involves flying a crop duster over the
White House.
6> Every time someone yells "Biff! Muffy's on the
phone!" the whole damn house comes running.
5> Every Monday night is "Melrose
Place"/self-breast-exam night.
4> In EVERY room, at EVERY function, out of EVERY
speaker: John Tesh
3> Their idea of a wild party: slam out a few pages of
code, then memorize "Star Trek" dialogue.
2> Their good looks, fabulous wealth, and popularity
are sure signs that they're gonna get their comeuppance in a
big, humiliating way by a ragtag group of misfits at
homecoming.
1> "Smegma" may sound like a letter in the Greek
alphabet, but it's not.
[ The Top 5
List
www.topfive.com ]
[ Copyright 1996, 2005 by Chris
White ]
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