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| Posted by Alex Feterman on 14-Aug-2005 | Overheard at the bridge table"Lay down and let's see what you've got."
"I've got strength but no length."
"Take your hand off my trick!"
"You jumped me twice when you didn't have the strength for one raise."
"Now it's time for me to play with your husband and you can play with mine."
"I have to protect my honour now."
"Well, I guess we'll go home now. This is the last rubber."
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| Posted by henry on 14-Aug-2005 | Gotcha...Once the club duffer challenged the local golf pro to a match, with a $100 bet on the side. "But," said the duffer, "since you're obviously much better than I, to even it a bit you have to spot me two 'gotchas'."
The golf pro didn't know what a 'gotcha' was, but he went along with it. And off they went. Coming back to the 19th hole, the rest of the club members were amazed to see the golf pro paying the duffer $100.
"What happened?" asked one of the members.
"Well," said the pro, "I was teeing up for the first hole, and as I brought the club down, the jerk stuck his hand between my legs and grabbed my balls while yelling 'Gotcha!' Have you ever tried to play 18 holes of golf waiting for the second 'gotcha'?"
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| Posted by goin' wild on 14-Aug-2005 | Hurt Golfer2 women were playing golf. On the third hole there was a 4 men in front of them but about 175 yards down the fairway. The first woman said i'll tee off he is far enough away. She hit the drive of her life, like a shot straight down the faraway. She screamed fore at the top of her lungs and as the men turned one was hit solidly.
He was rolling on the ground in pain with his hands between his legs. She ran to him, apologizing and saying "let me help I am a physical therapist."
He protested but she got him to put his hands at his side. She unzipped his pants and began massaging him. "How does that feel?" she asked.
He said, "Great, but my thumb still hurts like hell."
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():sport jokes (950): Top 10 Ways to Make Hockey More Exciting |
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| Posted by Kelsey D. Dowswell on 14-Aug-2005 | Top 10 Ways to Make Hockey More Exciting10. Goalie removes an article of clothing for each goal allowed.
9. If the Zamboni goes less than 50 mph it blows up.
8. Canadians must play in bare feet.
7. Replace hockey sticks with live flamingos.
6. Just barely visible under the ice: the frozen body of Walt Disney.
5. At some point in every game - exciting police chase in the stands.
4. Actually have Jason from "Friday the 13th" skating around in his hockey mask trying to kill guys.
3. Instead of an ice rink, a huge red-hot griddle covered in bacon grease.
2. One word: blindfolds.
1. Lose the puck and goals - and make it a 4 period free-for-all.
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| Posted by Funloving Chick on 14-Aug-2005 | Mike Tyson and MetallicaQ: What's the difference between a Metallica concert and a Tyson - Holyfield match?
A: After the Metallica concert, there's a ring in the ears, after the bout, there are ears in the ring.
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():sport jokes (950): Top Ten Reasons Hockey is Better than Sex |
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| Posted by Domini V. Cunningham on 14-Aug-2005 | Top Ten Reasons Hockey is Better than Sex10. It's legal to play hockey professionally.
9. The puck is always hard.
8. Protective equipment is reusable and you don't even have to wash it.
7. It lasts a full hour.
6. You know you're finished when the buzzer sounds.
5. Your parents cheer when you score.
4. Periods only last 20 minutes.
3. You can count on it at least twice a week.
2. You can tell your friends about it afterwards.
1. A two-on-one or three-on-one is not uncommon.
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