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| Posted by jack ill on 14-Aug-2005 | PackersHow do you keep the packers away from your house?
Put an endzone in front of it.
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| Posted by smiler44 on 14-Aug-2005 | Magnetic Golf Ball"What does this golf ball do?" Frank asked the manager of the
golf shop. "This golf ball magnetically attracts to all sorts of
holes. It depends on what direction you hit the ball in. If it
goes straight towards the hole, it will go into the hole" the
manager replied. "I'll buy it." Frank bought this rather strange
golf ball and walked out to the golf course, where his friend
Bill, was waiting for him.
The first hole was a Par 3, so Frank had a good chance of
getting a hole-in-one on this hole. After Bill had played his
first shot, Frank stuck the tee into the ground and placed his
magnetic golf ball on top of it. When he was set, Frank hit the
ball straight towards the hole and got a hole-in-one. "You can't
ask for a better start than that Frank", said Bill. Frank smiled.
For the next sixteen holes, Frank's weird golf ball found holes
to go into after every shot. However, most of these holes that
the ball went into were either a bunker or the hole itself.
There was one occasion though, when the ball went into one of
the pockets in Bill's pants, but this doesn't compare with what
happened on the eighteenth hole.
Bill had already played his first shot on the eighteenth, and
Frank was about to play his. The eighteenth hole had a large
hill in which the ball had to be hit over. The hole and pin
could not be seen from where Frank and Bill were.
Since this hole is a Par 3, Frank could get another hole-in-one.
When Frank was set he hit the ball, and to his disappointment he
hooked it to the left. A few seconds later, a loud noise could
be heard "Aaaaaaaargh!!!!" Frank and Bill had no idea where the
noise came from, so they both walked over the hill to look for
their balls.
Bill found his ball straight away, but Frank was having great
difficulty in finding his ball. Frank had spent about twenty
minutes trying to find his ball, when he decided to give up and
use another ball. "I'll use another ball for my second shot
Bill, but first I need to go to the toilet". Frank walked over
to the public toilets, which was about twenty meters to the left
of the eighteenth green.
When Frank walked into the public toilets he heard a voice, "Is
there anyone there?" "Yes there is," replied Frank, as he walked
towards the cubicle at the far end. When he got to the cubicle
door, which was open, Frank asked the man, "What do you want?"
"I need a doctor," came the reply. "Why do you need a doctor?"
Frank asked curiously. After Frank asked this question, the man
in the cubicle did something strange. He stood up, turned around
and flashed his naked backside at Frank, who suddenly became
worried, "Holy shit!!!!"
"What is it?" said the man in the cubicle. "You wouldn't believe
what's stuck up there!!" Frank said. "What is?" "My fucking golf
ball, that's what!!!!"
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| Posted by Max Margulies on 14-Aug-2005 | Einstine and the packerseinstine was sitting in the back of a train. this man walks
right in. but before he can sit down enstine says "what is your
IQ." the man goses "whel i dont mean to brag but it is 150.98"
Enstine says "great we can talk about math, art, music, and
symbolisem." a second guy walks in. before he sits down enstine
says " what your IQ. the man says " whell its 135." enstine
says "great we can tlak about liturature and music. finaly the
third guy walks in. enstine says whats your IQ. the man says
"DUH... 2.2" enstine says "great we can talk about the packers".
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| Posted by hairymouth on 14-Aug-2005 | Smart football playerA High School football coach was putting the team through some
toughening-up exercises. One fellow with more brains than brawn
began to get tired. "Everybody on their back!" barked the coach.
"Legs up in the air. Now pretend that your riding a bycicle.
Faster, faster!" The tired one peddled a few minutes, then
stopped. "Hey, you." yelled the coach "whats the big idea?"
"Who, me?" asked the bright one, "I'm coasting."
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| Posted by jc spencer on 14-Aug-2005 | Football with No LacesOnce there was a football at a store. John Wilson came to the store and he
said, "This football has no laces." Why no laces? John was shocked. "Of
course there are laces." said the store owner. "See, I'm wearing glasses."
The owner was tricking him. John fell for it and bought the football for
$75.91. John was mad at the price for the football, though. When he went
to his football practice all of his teamates laughed at him. He said, "Why
are you laughing?" The coach said, "We are going to kick you off the team
for being such a bone head."
Then John went back to the store and he tried to give back the football to
the store because he was trying out for basketball. John gave the football
back and then the store manager said, "The new sports style is no laced
footballs." That was right after John bought a no lined basketball....
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| Posted by Chic260LOL on 14-Aug-2005 | What is the score?I bet I can tell you the score of the Rose Bowl before it starts?
0 To 0.
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