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| Posted by jc spencer on 14-Aug-2005 | Parachutist and the GolferWhat's the difference between a parachutist and a golfer?
A golfer goes WHAP..."damn" and a parachutist goes "damn"...WHAP!
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| Posted by *Supa_Fli_Monkey_Poo* on 14-Aug-2005 | O.J. Simpson -Not GuiltyBob: Hey dick, "Did you know that they are blaming O.J Simpson's football
coach for commiting the murders?"
Dick: "Are they really Bob?"
Bob: "Yeah really."
Dick: "What for?"
Bob: "He told O.J to cut right, cut left and run like hell!"
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| Posted by Jordan L. Lee on 14-Aug-2005 | Discouraged?As I was driving home from work one day, I stopped to watch a local little
league baseball game that was being played in a park near my home. As I
sat down behind the bench on the first-base line, I asked one of the boys
what the score was. "We're behind 14 to nothing," he answered with a
smile. "Really," I said. "I have to say you don't look very discouraged."
"Discouraged?" the boy asked with a puzzled look on his face. "Why should
we be discouraged? We haven't been up to bat yet."
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| Posted by Kristina Kelly on 14-Aug-2005 | Chicken EarsWhy don't chickens have ears?
Because they grew up on Tyson farms.
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| Posted by DJ Davis on 14-Aug-2005 | 10 things to do on a golf course1.when someone is in their back stroke, scream and fall
over\blowhorn\scream swear words
2.Golf cart races
3.tape acceleration down on a golf cart
4.turn on the sprinklers
5.make a sand castle in the sand traps
6.set off weather siren on a sunny day
7.steal someone's clubs one by one until they notice
8.steal a golf cart while someone is teeing off
9.take a really long time to putt. Refuse to let others play
through.
10.play the course backwards. Start with the 18th hole, then the
17th, 16th and so on.
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| Posted by Stype76 on 14-Aug-2005 | Blind Firefighters Playing GolfA clergy, a doctor and a lawyer were at their local country club for their
regular golf game.
Almost immediately they got behind a foursome who were very slow players.
They wandered aimlessly around the fairways looking for their balls,
whiffed shots and putted in all directions. The threesome could not play
through and finally waved down a marshal and explained that each hole took
20 minutes or more and asked if he could encourage the foursome to play at
a quicker pace.
The marshal replied by letting the threesome know that the men in front
were the four firefighters that rescued several club members from a recent
fire and as a result they had lost their eyesight. The club in recognition
of there heroic efforts had given them honorary memberships and were
asking fellow members to be patient when playing behind the firefighters.
The clergy responded by asking the marshal to let the men know that he
would include them in his prayers from the pulpit Sunday morning.
The doctor told the marshal to let the men know he would ask his eye
doctor associates to perform any exams free of charge.
The lawyer looked at the marshal and asked, "Why can they not just play at
night?"
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