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| Posted by lu v. buggy on 10-Aug-2005 | Pay the PriceA man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer."
The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars."
The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender.
"Sorry, sir," the bartender says, "but I can't accept that."
The man pulls out a ten-dollar bill and the bartender rejects his money again.
"What's going on here?" the man asks.
Pointing to a neon sign, the bartender explains, "This is a Singles Bar."
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| Posted by jennifer on 10-Aug-2005 | Making a confessionA drunken man staggered into a Catholic church, sat down in the Confessional,
and said nothing.
The priest is waiting and waiting and waiting.
The priest coughs to attract the drunk man's attention, but still the man says
nothing. The priest then knocks on the wall three times in a final attempt to
get the man to speak. Finally the drunk replies, ''No use knocking,' pal.
There's no paper."
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():bar jokes (2610): This guy walks into a small town bar... |
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| Posted by jack ill on 11-Aug-2005 | This guy walks into a small town bar...This guy walks into a small town bar and orders a drink from the bartender.
The bartender delivers his drink and shouts out to the bar patrons ''46!!'' Everyone starts to laugh- Again he shouts out ''39!!'' Now the patrons are getting even louder in laughing- Lastly, he shouts ''14!!'' Now, people are wiping tears from their eyes from all the laughing.
The visitor is curious, so he asks the bartender ''What is going on?''
The bartender says ''This is a small town, with small impressionable children, and so we had decided to put numbers to our naughty jokes rather than tell them in full''
The visitor is astounded ''Let me try!!'' he says- So he shouts ''46!!'' Nothing happens ''39!!'' Still nothing. ''14!!'' and yet still not a sound from the patrons.
The visitor says to the bartender ''I don't understand. I used exactly the same numbers you did and got a completely opposite response.
The bartender replied, ''Well, some folks can tell a joke....... and some folks can't''
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| Posted by Tae E. Coleman on 11-Aug-2005 | Ghostly HumpTwo drunks staggering home one night and one decides to take a shortcut through the cemetery. Half way through an apparition appears. "What's that on your back?" the ghost asks.
"It's a hump" says the drunk The ghost puts his hand on the drunk's back and the hump disappears.
He races home and next night at the pub he tells his mate all about it. His mate is amazed and says he is going through the cemetery that night as he has a wooden leg and wants a proper leg. Again half way through the cemetery a ghost appears... "What's wrong with your leg?" he asks.
"It's a wooden leg," says the drunk.
"Have you got a Hump?" asks the ghost.
"No" replies the drunk. So the ghost puts his hand on the drunk's back and says, "Here, you can have this one.
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| Posted by superM65 on 12-Aug-2005 | Skeleton JokeA Skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a beer... and a mop.
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():bar jokes (2610): 2 men on top off a building |
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| Posted by Bill Scoby on 12-Aug-2005 | 2 men on top off a buildingTo men are at the top of a building having a drink,and one says to the other i bet you i can jump out this window and in 5 seconds jump back in.\"NEVER\" the man says. so the man jumps out and jumps back in, so the other man says i bet i can, so he jumps out falls and dies, the barmaid comes u to the other man and says u an be a silly boy when your drunk superman
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