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| Posted by Cameron Rivard on 09-Aug-2005 | Pick your favorite"In the event of a sudden loss of cabin pressure, masks will descend from the ceiling.
Stop screaming, grab the mask, and pull it over your face.
If you have a small child traveling
with you, secure your mask before assisting with theirs.
If you are traveling with more than one small child, pick your favorite."
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| Posted by Hope moynahan on 09-Aug-2005 | We love youWeather at our destination is 50 degrees with some broken clouds, but we'll try try to have them fixed before we arrive.
Thank you, and remember, nobody loves you, or your money, more than Southwest Airlines."
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| Posted by meryl m. clewett on 09-Aug-2005 | Never say to a cop..THINGS YOU SHOULD NEVER SAY TO A COP...
1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Aren't you the guy from the Village People?
4. Hey, you must've been doin' about 125 mph to keep up with me. Good job!
5. Are You Andy or Barney?
6. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
7. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
8. I pay your salary!
9. Gee, Officer! That's terrific. The last officer only gave me a warning, too!
10. Do you know why you pulled me over? Okay, just so one of us does.
11. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around. That's how far ahead of me they are.
12. If the Officer says "Gee son....Your eyes look red, have you been drinking?"
You probably shouldn't reply,"Gee Officer your eyes look glazed, have you been eating doughnuts?"
Submitted by sai1ram
Edited by Yisman
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| Posted by Wonder-Woman N. Super Man on 09-Aug-2005 | Don't help dearAn old Montana rancher hates wearing his seat belt.
One day, he's driving on the highway with his wife and sees a state trooper behind him.
He says to his wife, "Quick, take the wheel! I've got to put my seat belt on!"
She does, and right then, the trooper pulls them over.
He walks up to the car and says to the rancher, ??????Say, I noticed you weren??????t wearing your seat belt.??????
The rancher says, "I was, but you don't have to take my word for it. My wife is a good Christian, ask her. She'll tell you the truth. She doesn't lie about anything."
So the cop asks the wife.
The wife says, "I've been married to Buck for 20 years, officer, and one thing I've learned in all that time is this: You never argue with him when he's drunk."
Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Tantilazing
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| Posted by Ab on 09-Aug-2005 | Night flightAn American tourist was boasting to an Irishman how advanced the Americans are. "Gee, we've even put a man on the moon."
"That's nothing," replied the Irishman," we're going to put a man on the sun."
"Don't be stupid," said the American," "he'll fry before he even gets there."
"Oh no, he won't. We're sending him at night."
Submitted by Tantilazing
Edited by Curtis
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| Posted by Saucy Sammy on 09-Aug-2005 | Panic on the flightA plane was taking off from Kennedy Airport. After it reached a comfortable cruising altitude, the Captain made an announcement over the intercom, "Ladies and gentlemen, this is your captain speaking. Welcome to Flight Number 293, non-stop from New York to Los Angeles.
The weather ahead is good and, therefore, we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. Now sit back
and relax...
OH, MY GOD!" Silence followed, and after a few minutes, the captain came back on the intercom and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am so sorry if I frightened you earlier while I was talking to you.
The flight attendant accidentally spilled a cup of hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants!"
A passenger in Coach yelled, "You should see the back of mine."
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