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():travel & vacation jokes (283): Pilot to tower


Posted by Samuel P. Wilson on 09-Aug-2005

Pilot to tower

"Pilot to tower. I am 300 miles from land, 600 feet over water and running out of fuel. Please instruct! "

"Tower to pilot. Tower to pilot. Repeat after me, 'Our Father, which art in heaven...'"
   

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():travel & vacation jokes (283): Pilots nightmare


Posted by John R. Beard on 09-Aug-2005

Pilots nightmare

A pilots nightmare is when he wakes up and finds his co-pilot asleep.
   

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():travel & vacation jokes (283): Bad drivers


Posted by jaimie on 09-Aug-2005

Bad drivers

People today just don't know how to drive. I read about this eight car crash.

It took place in a dealer's showroom.
   

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():travel & vacation jokes (283): Decoy


Posted by Ashy Ashy on 09-Aug-2005

Decoy

Staking out a notoriously rowdy bar for possible D.U.I. violators, a cop watched from his squad car as a fellow stumbled out the door, tripped on the curb and tried 45 cars before opening the door to his own and falling asleep on the front seat.

One by one, the drivers of the other cars drove off. Finally, the sleeper woke up, started his car and began to leave. The cop pulled him over and administered a Breathalyzer test. When the results showed a 0.0 blood-alcohol level, the puzzled policeman asked him how that was possible.

"Easy," was the reply. "Tonight was my turn to be the decoy"
   

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():travel & vacation jokes (283): Contacts


Posted by LeeLee on 09-Aug-2005
Contacts
A policeman stops a lady and asks for her license. He says "Lady, it says here that you should be wearing glasses."

The woman answered "Well, I have contacts."

The policeman replied "I don't care who you know! You're getting a ticket!"

Submitted by Curtis
Edited by Calamjo
   

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():travel & vacation jokes (283): Seat belt


Posted by Dragonfire563 on 09-Aug-2005
Seat belt
From a Southwest Airlines employee: "Welcome aboard Southwest Flight 245 to
Tampa.

To operate your seat belt, insert the metal tab into the buckle, and pull tight.

It works just like every other seat belt and, if you don't know how to operate one, you probably shouldn't be out in public unsupervised."
   

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