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| Posted by Paul J. Targonski on 09-Aug-2005 | Plane CrashAn airplane full of a shipment of Pepsi flying over Africa had a malfunction, and went down.
A few weeks later, Pepsi Company sent a rescue plane. They searched the area and found a tribe of cannibals.
They walked up to the Chief of the tribe and asked him if he knew anything about the crash.
The Chief said, "Yeah." When asked where the crew was, the Chief replied, "We ate the crew, and we drank the Pepsi." The Rescue crew were shocked.
One man asked, "Did you eat their legs?" The chief replied, "We ate their legs, and we drank the Pepsi"
Another rescuer asked, "Did you eat their arms?" The Chief said, "We ate their arms, and we drank the Pepsi."
After looking totally perplexed for a minute, a third asked, "Did you.. you know...eat their...'things'??"
The chief says, "No."
"No?" asked the rescuer.
"No," replied the Chief, "THINGS go better with Coke."
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| Posted by Nichole Wong on 09-Aug-2005 | Lady Getting On BusShe was wearing a very tight skirt, and when she tried to board the Fifth Avenue bus she found she couldn't lift her leg.
She reached back and unzipped the zipper. It didn't seem to do any good, so she reached back and unzipped it again.
Suddenly the man behind her lifted her up and put her on the top step.
"How dare you?" she demanded.
"Well, lady," he said, "by the time you unzipped my fly for the second time I thought we were good friends."
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| Posted by Jeff J. Friesen on 09-Aug-2005 | Red EyesA cop pulls a guy over.
"Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been drinking?"
"Gee, officer," the man says. "Your eyes are awfully glazed -- have you been eating doughnuts?"
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| Posted by Mindy A. Gotsch on 09-Aug-2005 | No MercyA guy is driving down a deserted highway.
He pulls up to an intersection, and rolls through the stop sign.
From out of nowhere, a cop car pulls him over.
COP: Do you know why I pulled you over?
GUY: Hey, I slowed down, didn't I???
COP: You must come to a full stop at the sign.
GUY: Stop. Slow down. What's the difference?
The cop pulls out his baton and starts to pound the man without mercy.
COP: Well? Do you want me to STOP or SLOW DOWN?
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| Posted by oniyae on 09-Aug-2005 | Fast DrivingTwo men were driving down a city street, as they approach a red stop light, the man driving speeds up and drives through a red light.
Shocked, the passenger yells, "What are you doing!"
The driver just responds in a casual tone, "That's the way my brother drives."
As they continue down the street, they again came upon another red stop light and again the drive speeds through the intersection.
Again the passenger yells, "What are you doing!"
The driver says, "That's the way my brother drives".
Not too long after that, they came upon a green light.
The driver quickly slams on his breaks and comes to a complete stop just before the intersection.
The angry passenger screams, "It's a green light!"
The driver says, "Yes, but my brother might be coming the other way!"
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| Posted by The One on 09-Aug-2005 | Hot Car!You Know Your Car Is Overly Hot When...
10. Scientists dressed in radiation suits are probing your car.
9. Your car develops a shroud of fog when it rains, and is perfectly dry when the rain stops.
8. Your car has a nasty glare from the sun, even at night.
7. You keep finding Cornish game hens freshly roasted on the hood of your car, with a complement of various birds and roasted vegetables on your trunk.
6. Your car spontaneously combusts when you open the door.
5. You spy your co-workers taking a sauna inside your car during lunch break.
4. Your car horn is no longer that deep trucker's horn it once was, but now sounds like a dry rasping wheeze.
3. You could host a barbecue on your dashboard.
2. The police officer attempts to put a ticket on your car, and the ticket burns up as soon as it touches the windshield.
1. The CD hanging from your mirror shrivels like a Shrinky-dink within 10 minutes after you park your car!
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